First of all, I really the concept of the story. I am quite a big fan of sci-fi, so this was an enjoyable read. I wish you'd develop a bit more certain ideas, because I feel like it's moving too fast from one idea to another, and that takes me a little out of the story. Also, in some chapters there is a lot of dialogue. This is not a bad thing, but I think it should be a bit more balanced with the description, with the inner thoughts of the character, to give it more depth. I consider that too much dialogue, without breaks, is a little tiring and difficult to assimilate. Of course, that's up to my preferences. Overall, you're doing a great job so keep it up!
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I understand your feeling of moving too fast. but to explain why I have it that way is to also explain what I intend to do with the story. I have never finished a story I ever started to write. I want to finish volume one at least before I really get in to rewrites that I know that I need. I will probably do a rewrite of each chapter while publishing auxiliary chapters before I even start volume two. At this moment (ch 9,10) is setting up an arc that is the middle act to my story with about two more arc's in it. At least that's the intention. All of this is is subject to change because all of this is just coming off the top of my head as I write it. In fact most of 9 and all of 10 would not exist if I stuck to my original plan. I think that's why I put a massive amount of dialogue in. I'm trying to flesh out the characters as i write them. That and I like the characters perception of reality to inform the reader rather than my own. Feels more organic to me. Sorry if this is a lot to take in, but felt like explaining myself and why there is a high pace. And thanks for your review, it really is appreciated.
