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Uchiha_Lover21
Uchiha_Lover21Lv23yr
2021-07-14 21:57

To be honest I like this story alot, what I didn't like is the forced deaths when he did the trial of control, Kristie didn't really need to die, his death was unnecessary, if the author really only wanted one to survive he could've let Kristie and Brett die together at the next stage, but other than that awesome story

Liked by 2 people

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Replies2
Uchiha_Lover21
Uchiha_Lover21Lv2

And the way he treats Selena when she tried to help him up the cave, did he forget his class makes it so she can't betray him

Torrinth
TorrinthLv15

he constantly forgets and has no trust even though he kept saying that this life wasn't going to be the same.

Uchiha_Lover21:And the way he treats Selena when she tried to help him up the cave, did he forget his class makes it so she can't betray him
Other Reviews
Enigmation
EnigmationLv4

Reviewed at chp93: WQ(3/5) - There are some mistakes(typos, extra words, wrong sentence structures) but it's few and far in between. Nothing amazing but it's readable enough. SD(2/5) - I'm not a huge fan of the pacing of the story. It feels very "jerky". Like a car shifting gears too quick. The plot progression so far has been lacklustre in my opinion. The premise is interesting enough but can't raise the score above a solid 3. Now for the "plot" for those who care, pretty alright. It's decent but not ground-breaking. So far we have a few chps of Selena and MC. It mostly depends on your preference, pretty rough but still quite vanilla. CD(3/5) - I'm torn on this. The MC is interesting enough though frustrating at times. The issue is that the way the author introduces us to him as a character, there are far too many perspective shifts, it's told through flashbacks and having too many in any medium is never a good idea. It's fine to be used sparingly to show past events but thats the issue, here it's used as a tool to convey the MC's char to readers, even worse is it's in parts. It might contribute to that "jerky" feeling I get when reading. Now I commend the author for actually building side characters. For example, Selena and Verona are given a fair bit of screentime and inner monologues to give us an idea of their thoughts and character. This can be a double-edged sword however, as focus might be shifted off the MC. But I'm glad to say the author divided the focus quite well. Now why I'm torn on this is the fact I like the side char building but absolutely abhor the MC's char building itself. It feels inorganic and doesn't flow well compared to how the side chars are shown. US(4/5) - The author seems pretty consistent in his updates and actually responds to his audience. WB(4/5) - The world itself is slowly being built and honestly it would be a solid 3, I gave it a 4 just because it's piqued my interest and is genuinely interesting. The world the author is writing seems mysterious and intriguing, u can't help but think there are far deeper secrets due to the hints here and there. In conclusion, a decent but rough read. The idea is solid but the execution isn't. The pacing and plot of the story needs quite a fair bit of work, especially with the MC's char building. It just feels completely inorganic to show the character like this. But here's the great kicker, premium chps are locked at chp30. That is going to greatly hurt the exposure this novel is going to get. For the word count of chps, it's just not worth it. I might return to this novel in the future but so far it doesn't look too promising. All the best author and I hope this review helps.

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