Review Detail of 0_Jordinio_0 in 已删除
Review detail
Eh, not really a fan of it. For one, the poorly written out paragraphs of dialogue just going to another paragraph isn't very well done at all. You also tend to finish dialogue improperly quite a bit. I'm all for a foul mouthed character that takes no shit and breaks the mould. But he takes it to far, unnecessarily to the point of looking like a complete moron. Foul mouthed for the sake of being foul mouthed instead of an actual reason. He's too abrupt with his thoughts, doesn't take time to ponder anything and he's just..well a moron. Taking all that into account, is the wishes thing. Not only is it a really, really bad trope, never handled well at all with even a hint of creativity, just as you showed, there's also the fact he completely wasted them on stupid choices. Just overall, not really anything of quality or worth reading. The only thing it has going for it is your update rate. No offense, but I think you should work on your technical writing skills a bit before anything else.
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FanficSlayer2021
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Thx for the review. I’ll try to improve on the dialogue bit if I have time (this is just a hibby of mine. I don’t plan on becoming a writer) As for the wishes, well to wach their own I guess. I think they’re pretty good and Kaito should be pretty Op even in the Dxd world’s standart when he combines them. As for the foul mouth... this is my frist time wrtiting a character like that and others also said that it’s a bit too much, so I’ll tone it down a bit Anw thanks for the helplfull review. 😉
FanficSlayer2021:Thx for the review. I’ll try to improve on the dialogue bit if I have time (this is just a hibby of mine. I don’t plan on becoming a writer) As for the wishes, well to wach their own I guess. I think they’re pretty good and Kaito should be pretty Op even in the Dxd world’s standart when he combines them. As for the foul mouth... this is my frist time wrtiting a character like that and others also said that it’s a bit too much, so I’ll tone it down a bit Anw thanks for the helplfull review. 😉
FanficSlayer2021:Thx for the review. I’ll try to improve on the dialogue bit if I have time (this is just a hibby of mine. I don’t plan on becoming a writer) As for the wishes, well to wach their own I guess. I think they’re pretty good and Kaito should be pretty Op even in the Dxd world’s standart when he combines them. As for the foul mouth... this is my frist time wrtiting a character like that and others also said that it’s a bit too much, so I’ll tone it down a bit Anw thanks for the helplfull review. 😉
1.- His first wish is Shigure's experiences and abilities and he describes her as if she were a stronger weapon artist when in the anime there are hundreds of incredibly good characters like her and who also have better abilities, like, I don't know, having chakra, some power, etc. Vergil for example, has an amazing Katana and some other weapons, but she also has a lot of other very good support skills. 2.- That one is ok, the truth is not bad, he is a good wish, although with his human body he is quite weak, probably even the bounce he causes around will damage him with his average human body, let's not forget that in One Piece humans are like comparing a titan with a common person. 3.- Well, he's average, he could have asked for a Gate of Babylon so he can shoot weapons and control them without moving when he doesn't have to fight. Everyone does their own thing, but his wishes are kind of bad, and the MC is pretty shitty, for being vulgar in excess, I mean, he's excessively foul-mouthed to the point that it's so repetitive and boring to hear him say something because it's always the same thing and it gets irritating.
FanficSlayer2021:Thx for the review. I’ll try to improve on the dialogue bit if I have time (this is just a hibby of mine. I don’t plan on becoming a writer) As for the wishes, well to wach their own I guess. I think they’re pretty good and Kaito should be pretty Op even in the Dxd world’s standart when he combines them. As for the foul mouth... this is my frist time wrtiting a character like that and others also said that it’s a bit too much, so I’ll tone it down a bit Anw thanks for the helplfull review. 😉
just for this what I think is a really reasonable and honest response I think I will read the fic... writers here have a really big ego for what ever reason... I also recommend that you improve your writing skills not just for the ffs or writing, it is a really good skill to have in general if you are new to the language...
FanficSlayer2021:Thx for the review. I’ll try to improve on the dialogue bit if I have time (this is just a hibby of mine. I don’t plan on becoming a writer) As for the wishes, well to wach their own I guess. I think they’re pretty good and Kaito should be pretty Op even in the Dxd world’s standart when he combines them. As for the foul mouth... this is my frist time wrtiting a character like that and others also said that it’s a bit too much, so I’ll tone it down a bit Anw thanks for the helplfull review. 😉