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Lexi_Roberson
Lexi_RobersonLv14yr
2021-02-03 12:11

I really loved the beginning of the story. I have currently added this book to my library, and I hope to be able to finish it! I honestly love it, but I felt like you could have used different pronouns instead of repeating Berry. I do get that's the character's name, and you're trying to state that, but I also felt it was kind of repetitive. I recommend changing those to different pronouns like he, she, him, or her. Whatever Berry identifies as. As far as the book, I can't wait to read more of it. Anyone who reads this comment, this book is well worth your time!

VRMMO Dodgeball

SweetRambutan
Not enough ratings
29 Chs

Liked by 2 people

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Replies2
SweetRambutan
SweetRambutanAuthor

Thank you~

4yr
Lexi_Roberson
Lexi_RobersonLv1

Your welcome!!!! I'm so excited to read more of your story!!!! I was very engaged. It takes a lot as a reader to be intrigued by a different novel, and I definitely felt that here. I love a specific genre but I do stray away because it can get boring after some time. Your book isn't what I would typically read, but it has intrigued me so much!!!! I read your review as well. Some of the users have told me that as well lol!!! I am currently editing it all and adding more. Once that is finished all of Totally In Love will be renewed as well!!!

4yr
1
Other Reviews
SweetRambutan
SweetRambutanAuthor

Hello. I am the novel's author, Sweet Rambutan. I am just here to leave a general note. Note: This story is purely a fiction. It is not real. If you want to know whether the story is good or not, I welcome you all to read. Your comments and criticisms are most welcome. I can learn a lot from all of that ^_^

4yr

Khawla_Amini
Khawla_AminiLv2

This is wonderful, I'm totally in love with this book... The plot is interesting, the style of writing is more than unique, and I'm totally hooked by the characters... The book is already in my library, and I can't stop myself from being addicted [img=update]

4yr
Inn0cent_S0ul
Inn0cent_S0ulLv4

First of all Congratulations on your good start!! 🎉🎉 The story is well-paced and the game part is very exciting. I just love the story so far!! Keep up the good work!! [img=update]

4yr
JustLetMeSleep
JustLetMeSleepLv4

it is a good novel and it just feels too real if you don't count the high tech elements, good job author, the names of the family are super simple due to the naming scheme making them easier to memorize which is a good thing.

4yr
YawningBrain
YawningBrainLv13

Good, this is really really good, I couldn't stop reading from the first chapter. Love the pace of the story and how you describe in such detail the world's background. I will keep your work in my library, waiting for more. Great Job author! Definitely recommended [img=recommend]

4yr
SeverusMagicus
SeverusMagicusLv2

First of all the novel is really interesting. It has a good story and also a great character representation. You should read this novel. Also I have to say that author is always trying to improve the story, you can see it with the author comments and other things. Keep up the good work!

4yr
Kera_Wood
Kera_WoodLv1

Hey! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email kerawood.review@gmail.com  We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!

4yr
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