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Red_Spice
Red_SpiceLv43yr
2021-01-05 20:00

Thats really adorable! Even though some of the writings are in a little bit of mess, story itself is really good.You should also work a little bit on dialogues.

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PopPop
PopPopAuthor

Thanks a lot! But meh, mind is a chaotic mess. ;-P And that's what my wife helps me do in my other story. This one is a solo job. :-) so yeah, I know I am not that great at dialogues even though I love it.

Other Reviews
Professor_Zzyzx
Professor_ZzyzxLv3

Dioseethis
DioseethisLv6

I don't want others to be like me thinking this is might actually be a decent read. It's not. It's pretty f*cking garbage. If you're looking for a decent Kim possible fanfic go read something else this isn't it. Don't be fooled by the good reviews as they most give it a five because of an idea of Kim possible harem fic. Even I should not have trusted this horny people. Review: Writing quality- it's pretty decent for a fanfic. Few grammar errors here and there and most of the time the dialogue is quite cringe but still decent nonetheless, for a fanfic. Can be easily fix with few edits and better dialogue. Story development- its pretty sh*t. The pacing is quite weird as it jump from one place to another without rhyme or reason. It can be quite confusing at times. And the author is doing the most no no thing as an author, telling not showing. Most of the adventures are just briefly mentioned even though it's one of the thing that made Kim possible great. Remember SHOW DON'T TELL. Characters is thrown in or out without explanation or story behind them. That's boring and an example of what an author shouldn't do. Character design- it's quite insulting honestly. Most characters are the p*rn version of themselves so they are horny sl*ts. You'd think that's a good thing but the smut is lackluster and can't really save this fic. If you like the original Kim possible characters then you'll probably be insulted by how they're portrayed here. Updating stability- doesn't update everyday but still alright. World Background- I'm pretty sure the author is jacking off to Kim possible p*rno when he thought of this fanfic. This is not a Kim possible fanfic, this is a Kim possible P*RNO fanfic. You'd think that's quite hot but the smut is so boring I couldn't get a hard on. If you're looking for a smut Kim possible I suggest you look for something else cause you'll just be disappointed. Every character is a sl*t one way or another and the author doesn't really build the world so in this aspect is pretty garbage too. I wouldn't be surprised if the author decided to cuck Ron, oh wait he did already. *SPOILER* Bonnie and Tara is in a relationship before they have a relationship with Ron and they still are even now that they're in a relationship with Ron(even though Bonnie love Ron since they were child and Ron love her, basically Tara got first) . This is not a harem this is an open relationship. I repeat, THAT IS NOT A HAREM THAT IS AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP. Too many people mistake that sh*t. Tlrd: if you're looking for a decent Kim possible fanfic this isn't it. But if you want garbage pacing, characterization, and plot with a dose of a poorly written smut then this book is for you. It's a shame really, the first few chapters are actually decent and has thought put into it but then it became more and more mess up and started sh*tting on the original beloved cartoon. Let's hope the author don't delete this review so that the others will know what they are signing up for.

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