Writing Quality 3-Stars Story Development 2-Stars Character Design 2-Stars Updating Stability 2-Stars World Background 1-Star Writing Quality[WQ]: I'm going to be Straightforward. It's average and not that good. Not bad, really; But sadly not great either! It has a few grammar mistakes and while I am not that good in English, considering that English isn't my mother language, it isn't that awful either; I hope so at least! Story Development[SD]: It is mostly written in an 'extroperspecive', which means seeking external or societal evidence of information! It is rather trite and clumsy and chapter 1 was honestly useless and could be deleted. It describes that the Mc was killed, got a few wishes, and sent into the crossover world of TVD& HP. But not only did the Mc make an additional Wish which makes it 6 out of 5 but he also lost his memory. And this my friend is the thing that got on me the most, not because he lost his memory but I questioned myself why the author wrote this. He could've just made an Oc that lives in the crossover world of TVD& HP, is powerful, a descent of one of the 4 founders, and a Metamorphmagi! Why make all this Omnipotent powerful ROB shit when you make him forget his memory.....I don't get it. Why make an SI when you make him lose his memory, just make him an OC then. Lastly, it is very plot-driven, and not in a good way! You can see that at the end of Chapter 2. The cost of the wand is also bullshit etc. Also, he only has 1 founder connection, not all but...whatever! What is also stupid is that the author completely messed up timelines and randomly made up things such as altering Susan's age etc. I have a lot more to say, especially his mission....but I want to go to bed! On we go, enough rant about the Story Development. Character Design[CD]: How to makes this short because it is late in the night and I want to go to bed; He is a kid, so that means he is naive, innocent, stupid, etc etc. Not much to say or except that Updating Stability[US]: Well, see for yourself. World Background[WB]: A complete mess up with timelines and background, not much to say here either, mainly because I am tired. An: It is late and I am tired so please excuse grammar mistakes and wrong wording. Also, I edited a lot in Story Development because I found a lot and had to rewrite my sentences.....but as I said, I want to go to bed so I gave a f_uck about grammatically good sentences and just wrote. English isn't my mother language blablablabla.

Pros Good story idea. The mc doesnt shy away from the “dark” . Cons The mc is extremely childish. The mc has no spine at all. The mcs parents(mainly has to do with the fact that the mc has no spine to stand up to them) No character development at all, after 20 orso chapters there where barely any words exchanged, we do not even know what the characters look like and they just pop up out of nowhere like theyve known eachother since forever. The story is told more like a summary than a story. The wishes, he gets 6 but might aswell have non, outside of great magic power and memory wich couldve been achieved with magic his other wishes where rather pointless and makes him come across like a conplete downer. And did i already mention the relationship between him and his parents? ...

WOW, AUTHOR IS SO SEXY AND HANDSOME -> Daily Planet GREATEST STORY I HAVE READ SO FAR -> Georges Lucas IT'S MY SENPAI <3 -> George RR Martin WHO IS SPIDER-MAN ? -> Daily Bugle

Writing Quality 3-Stars Story Development 2-Stars Character Design 2-Stars Updating Stability 2-Stars World Background 1-Star These grades are to harsh give him a break!!!!!!!!!!!!

WQ : 4 It's acceptable and readable. That's good. US : 3 U can see yourself SD : 3 Story dev, actually pretty okay. But it become a mess cause of the foundation. CD : 2 Now this is where the mess began. There's nothing wrong with gary stu character, if it's written in a good way. And this is not. With how childish mc is and how he *magically* master magic as soon he was born or reincarnated. WB : 1 It's a mess. What's with the timeline, the whole american-british commute thing. It's like you just smash two worlds together and just go with it. I mean there's dozen better ways to insert MC to VD world and your choice just not particularly smooth.

Pros: The combination of the 2 worlds is intresting, The start was pretty good with the way the Mc stirred things up Cons: Mc acts childish, Mc has no backbone or balls, Mc has shitty and greedy parents yet the Mc doesent have the balls to confront them, Grammar is worse than mine, Characters are usually very surface level and we get no discreption on how they look so we have to rely on meta knowlage

pointless death -> 5wishes to god->reincarnation in HP Since the death of mc is just trash(his death bring 0 to the table) and I hate the concept of 5wishes(like wtf is a point of mc in hp world if you give him god gifts) im dropping it at chapter 1. Should give 1* but since author is doing it for free will give 3*. (If author reads it: Man design the charakter of mc and story from the beginning, killing someone is important. And yet you made it so that its more of a jouk, what the hell is a point of a story if all of story telling is plot armor).

Worth the read re-write seems really promising. Keep up the good work author ❤️.

Reveal spoiler