webnovel
Boroxx
BoroxxLv113yr
2021-02-25 05:51

Pros Good story idea. The mc doesnt shy away from the “dark” . Cons The mc is extremely childish. The mc has no spine at all. The mcs parents(mainly has to do with the fact that the mc has no spine to stand up to them) No character development at all, after 20 orso chapters there where barely any words exchanged, we do not even know what the characters look like and they just pop up out of nowhere like theyve known eachother since forever. The story is told more like a summary than a story. The wishes, he gets 6 but might aswell have non, outside of great magic power and memory wich couldve been achieved with magic his other wishes where rather pointless and makes him come across like a conplete downer. And did i already mention the relationship between him and his parents? ...

Liked by 42 people

LIKE
Replies2
Ark_Bloodfallen
Ark_BloodfallenLv3

Thanks, now I will not waste my time here

skidzee
skidzeeLv3

Charles Augustus Magnusse

Other Reviews
Jasonenrick
JasonenrickLv14

Writing Quality 3-Stars Story Development 2-Stars Character Design 2-Stars Updating Stability 2-Stars World Background 1-Star Writing Quality[WQ]: I'm going to be Straightforward. It's average and not that good. Not bad, really; But sadly not great either! It has a few grammar mistakes and while I am not that good in English, considering that English isn't my mother language, it isn't that awful either; I hope so at least! Story Development[SD]: It is mostly written in an 'extroperspecive', which means seeking external or societal evidence of information! It is rather trite and clumsy and chapter 1 was honestly useless and could be deleted. It describes that the Mc was killed, got a few wishes, and sent into the crossover world of TVD& HP. But not only did the Mc make an additional Wish which makes it 6 out of 5 but he also lost his memory. And this my friend is the thing that got on me the most, not because he lost his memory but I questioned myself why the author wrote this. He could've just made an Oc that lives in the crossover world of TVD& HP, is powerful, a descent of one of the 4 founders, and a Metamorphmagi! Why make all this Omnipotent powerful ROB shit when you make him forget his memory.....I don't get it. Why make an SI when you make him lose his memory, just make him an OC then. Lastly, it is very plot-driven, and not in a good way! You can see that at the end of Chapter 2. The cost of the wand is also bullshit etc. Also, he only has 1 founder connection, not all but...whatever! What is also stupid is that the author completely messed up timelines and randomly made up things such as altering Susan's age etc. I have a lot more to say, especially his mission....but I want to go to bed! On we go, enough rant about the Story Development. Character Design[CD]: How to makes this short because it is late in the night and I want to go to bed; He is a kid, so that means he is naive, innocent, stupid, etc etc. Not much to say or except that Updating Stability[US]: Well, see for yourself. World Background[WB]: A complete mess up with timelines and background, not much to say here either, mainly because I am tired. An: It is late and I am tired so please excuse grammar mistakes and wrong wording. Also, I edited a lot in Story Development because I found a lot and had to rewrite my sentences.....but as I said, I want to go to bed so I gave a f_uck about grammatically good sentences and just wrote. English isn't my mother language blablablabla.

BobboLobbo
BobboLobboLv4
Related Stories