* — Need to work. ** — Not bad *** — Satisfying **** —Excellent ***** — The best Webnovel can offer. ---- Note: Don’t mind the grammar, I’m in hurry, so. Writing Style — I will assume the author is not Native English base on the writing. Tense, comma, filler words, and dots are out of place. Furthermore, the Author likes to switch words for some reason. Sometimes, confusing to read. But still a readable novel — 3.5 / 5 Story Development — Pretty much decent. After he reincarnated back in time, the plot moves right after. However, to my opinion, the plot is just too fast. In one chapter, the mc meets a Core Member of this organization called ‘God’s Legion’, which will become terrifying in the future according to the author. Despite the Author telling us God’s Legion is scary, the members aren’t, at least from what I’ve seen when he meets one of the members. The Author even bothers to fed us information about this guy telling us that he was scheming and Mc suffered ambush from him bla bla bla, but then died few chapters after his appearance. Is this really the scheming and crafty Fang Chen? Hell, he even looks at the Mc with arrogance when he saw him. If I was scheming and crafty, I would approach the Mc, befriend him, and know about his background and such as after acting. But what did I see? Author telling us Scheming Person yet instead portrait the usual ‘Stupid Arrogant Young Master Fang’. Show not tell. Telling us is like promising us such character but showing is portraying us that character. Instead of telling us ‘He is Scheming’, show us what made him ‘Scheming’. Also, Fang Chen is a future member and strategies of God’s legion, thus killing him after his appearance would affect the entire plot. By killing such a character, it made him irrelevant to the story. Take note, God’s Legion would be the hurdle the protagonist has to overcome in the story. This kind of hurdle, God’s Legion Members should be relevant to the plot and should appear with decent intellect. As for Fang Chen? Meh, he’s not. Foolish and stupid. I even doubt if he really was a Member of this so-called God’s Legion. Also as a reader, I wouldn’t care about such information if this guy would die a few chapters later or held no importance to the story. As for plot holes, I notice lots of them. For instance, the Mc was able to obtain Kill Points by absorbing Pills. Take note, pills have different grading and their effects also differ from the grade. So by telling us experience gain from pills is base on Mc’s luck makes no sense. But let’s not talk about that. Back to the point, ‘Kill’ basically means to slay and slaughter any living creature. However, gaining ‘Kill Points’ from absorbing Pills is an error and violation of the rule laid by you, Author. By writing ‘Kill Points’ instead of ‘Experience’ means you set the rule for the protagonist leveling through slaughter. But in this case, you show us Mc gaining Kill Points from Absorbing Qi which is a no-no. For other plot holes, it will consume time explaining, so I will leave it in the hand of the Author to find those. For this, I will rate 3/5, on account I didn’t read all over the chapters available. Who knows the others might appear not too stupid and Plot Holes might not Plot Holes in the first place. Character Design — As for the other characters, though lacking, let’s not talk about it. Let’s focus on the Protagonist. TLDR; No Changes! Details: He died from fighting and ambush in his previous life, which I thought the protagonist would be cunning and cautious after experiencing that event. However, there are no changes at all. After arriving in the Lower Realm, all he did was act arrogant and stupid. By basically sitting in the center of a Restaurant, no doubt will attract attention. Bang! It did attract attention. Furthermore, it was a notable figure of the younger generation. The younger generation also wants to sit where Mc was sitting?!?! Coincidence? Or Forced Plot?... And guess what happened? Mc held him in contempt, sneering, and provoking him for no reason. Also, showing off wealth in the restaurant? Isn’t that basically attracting attention? Didn’t he die from being careless in his previous life? No matter where he is, even in the place of weakest, he should have been cautious. Why now gaining a second chance, he still a stupid, usual stereotypes xianxia protagonist. For this, I will rate 2/5. Need to polish more. Update Stability — 5/5. No need to explain. World Background — Author feeding us info dumps. Most of the paragraphs I read in a chapter mostly contains info. Info. Info. And Info. For having a good concept, I’ll rate it — 3.5/5.
Liked by 14 people
LIKEHi, thank for the review. Since you have taken so much time for this, I should share my thoughts on your review. You have divided the review and looked at all the aspects, I will do the same so my reply is organised too. Writing Style: Yes, I am not a native english speaker. Half of the published chapters are typed in my mobile, and I haven't had time to edit these chapters properly. But no excuses, I will accept criticism and feedback since it's my responsibility to take care of my novel. Story Development: This is the part which was criticised most by you. You have said the story is fast paced. Yes, it is. But only for few chapters where bring MC to the Lower Heavens. Now, Fang Chen. Yes, I did tell he is schemy. I did tell he is terrifying. I did tell he is one of the biggest enemies of MC. BUT all this is in future. Right now, he is just a 15 year old kid. He hasn't experienced enough to become a crafty person. He hasn't suffered enough to become ruthless and have scheme against everything. He is just a kid, who is acting arrogant so others don't give him much value and he stays out of radar. He hasn't seen how he world works. He is more useful dead than alive. If he is alive, the plot won't be intresting enough. We will know that one day he will be killed by Mc by the end of the volume. But I killed him early. I don't want to bring up bullshit reason for him to escape nor I want to let my MC be stupid enough to let go of this chance to take out a big fish from future. The information about him is important. The Mc disguised as Fang Chen to enter the Sect. About the Info dump you have said, I want everyone to know that everything is important. I don't add bullshit just for the sake of word count and new chapters. Plot Holes: The Mc obtaining kill points from absorbing pills is NOT a plot hole. It is a fact. And if I go against my words, it becomes a plot holes. Also, just because other system novels force the MC to kill to get exp, this novel doesn't and never will. This novel has a unique element, common sense. And if you think this was a plot hole, then sadly you don't understand what real plot holes are. Let me give you an example: The Mc not forcing Fang Chen to speak was a plot holes for many readers, and some even commented on that part. I have explained it to them. The Mc of this novel is not a sage or saint that he will do everything perfectly. He too will make mistakes and learn from them. He didn't think it was worth it to take info from fang chen, he will suffer for this. Before rebirth, he was a villain. And if you have had read many cultivation novels, you will know which kind of villain my Mc is. Character Design: This time too your basis of criticism was wrong. Don't expect MC to be know-it-all scheming god who can pass through all his problems from schemes alone. Let him learn. Learn from mistakes. What if he was killed due to arrogance? Will this make change his attitude take a 180 degree turn? No. Not in this novel. Here, the characters are not 2d mobs who are there just for the sake of chapters. Every incident, every info, every bystander chats tells us something about what has happened. You gave this part 2/5, which is plain one sided response. You're expecting a mob character to turn into a scheming character in two-three chapters. Yes, my MC is a mob character too. Why? Well, you would have known the answer if you had read what 'stupid, usual stereotype xianxia plots' are. Update stability: You gave me an undeserving 5/5. Iam not complaining nor I am nitpicking on this, but I know in heart, that this rating is undeserving. World Background: I only want to say all info us important and related to plot. Tl;dr: As an ending not, I want you to know that though I am thankful that you have taken time to review, but I am neither satisfied nor in agreement with your sense of judgement. You have criticised this book based on the plots which are clearly explained within next few paras. This makes me think you haven't read the chapters properly instead you have skimmed through them, thinking this book was the usual wish fulfilment xianxia novel. And don't blame this on my grammar. I know what and how my writing skills are.
As I have stated, I neither finish the fic nor never bothered trying to. For the character design, remember that your Mc already experiences death one time. Not for him having a second chance to restart, he would probably be regretting on the afterlife for being careless. This novel of yours is ‘Reincarnation’ and ‘System’ not ‘Weak-To-Strong’, etc. If you want to have Character Development sure I wouldn’t mind so, however, this is a different case. Mc had experience death one time, isn’t that enough reason for him to change? If you re-read your novel, you might spot that he acts really arrogant, unlike that decent anti-hero mc. Remember, he’s not an ordinary Mc, but a person who experiences Rebirth. Furthermore, your Mc did many stupid things that unlikely portrait him as once Genius. As for plotholes, as I said it might and might not a Plot Hole as long as it would be explained later on. Also, the Word Choice you made is confusing to some readers. For instance ‘Kill Points’ when you just can write ‘Experience Point’ or something like that. Note that, these are only a few of those I notice. I don’t wanna bother going deep at the others since I’m not sure if it’s really a plothole. Truthfully, I only bother to review this novel because I see potential. If not, I wouldn’t bother to write 140 words.
well for me there's no plot holes, as you stated 'it may have or it may not have' about the restaurant thing that flaunting his riches it's fine he's in disguise as his Butler so no real harm and the aura of the butler is atleast Half Saint realm that is why he has the audacity to be arrogant and nobody will find it that it was him, Ye Tian Yun. The Fang Chen part is he is underaged right now or inexperienced so his an arrogant frog in the well young master.
![[img=recommend]](https://actimg.webnovel.com/emoji/recommend.png){kind=small}