webnovel
JohnD
JohnDLv124yr
2021-02-22 05:53

So far the story seems very enjoyable. There are a lot of interesting ideas, but the writing quality and the details throughout the story need a bit fleshing out. I feel like this can potentially become a very good novel. :) Actually, I'm interested in giving feedback and editing your chapters before release. Contact me if you are interested. 🐈🦉

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livefree
livefreeAuthor

thanks for the offer, could you give me your discord or preferred means of communication

JohnD
JohnDLv12

Discord: JohnD#5335

livefree:thanks for the offer, could you give me your discord or preferred means of communication
Other Reviews
Anonymous_Seeker
Anonymous_SeekerLv13

To be honest, this a great work with potential but i still feel like somethings are missing. These are my opinions tho: Character development; This is a wizarding world, the character is a wizard and i don’t know what u have in plan for the mc’s character but his current character really ain’t satisfying. For a wizard, a dark wizard at that, i feel he is a bit too emotional than he is supposed to be. He has some subtle naivity( calm + curiosity could do the trick regarding his inspiration talent)which is not good for him as a dark wizard who is pursuing the ‘information manipulation path’. He lack the ruthlessness, calculative/ schemic mind required. His control over his emotions is also a bit lacking and his will is a bit too weak for an earthling who hold secrets hidden in his memories which he definetly cannot afford for others to see. Also, he lacks insights into the human heart and mind which is will be fatal to him if no change is made. With his knowledge of novels he read on eath he should know better than anyone the consequences of letting too much emotions affect his cause. As a dark wizard, his thirst for knowledge, rational thinking and spirit for reseach into the mysteries of the the multiverse is weak. It’d be cool if he had some time powers added to his rune tho. He could also create his own A.I to help with his informational path. Also, about his information manipulation and will path, you can gain insights from “ Cyher in marvel comics”, “ the middle chapters of the novel; ‘Original Seeker’ on comrademao.com or mtlnovel.com. Agian these are just my thoughts if you deem them useless for what you have in store for your work you can ignore it.

SMomoTempest
SMomoTempestLv14
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