webnovel
livefree
livefreeAuthor4yr
2020-11-15 06:36

hey everyone the author speaking, please if you have any suggestions or noticed some mistakes I made I would appreciate it if u pointed it out, I would love to get better and be able to share my ideas with the world through my stories.

Liked by 5 people

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Replies5
livefree
livefreeAuthor

sure ask away

livefree
livefreeAuthor

you know what its pretty late around here so just send ur question to livefree#9321 on discord or send a dm to loushaf on Instagram

livefree
livefreeAuthor

accepted

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livefree
livefreeAuthor

About your first question for the Mc it doesn't really matter if the enemies are female or male dey are basically just enemies and as for ruthlessness the mc is definitely not going to be some virgin mary but he is also definitely not going be a psychopath, ill say he is chaotic neutral

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Aeser
AeserLv5

The writing style bro, although it was mentioned already and you replied to it, It might be better if you rewrite it before it gets longer or rewrite after you finish the story. There are few dialogues in it so I can't get myself to continue :) goodluck

Other Reviews
Anonymous_Seeker
Anonymous_SeekerLv13

To be honest, this a great work with potential but i still feel like somethings are missing. These are my opinions tho: Character development; This is a wizarding world, the character is a wizard and i don’t know what u have in plan for the mc’s character but his current character really ain’t satisfying. For a wizard, a dark wizard at that, i feel he is a bit too emotional than he is supposed to be. He has some subtle naivity( calm + curiosity could do the trick regarding his inspiration talent)which is not good for him as a dark wizard who is pursuing the ‘information manipulation path’. He lack the ruthlessness, calculative/ schemic mind required. His control over his emotions is also a bit lacking and his will is a bit too weak for an earthling who hold secrets hidden in his memories which he definetly cannot afford for others to see. Also, he lacks insights into the human heart and mind which is will be fatal to him if no change is made. With his knowledge of novels he read on eath he should know better than anyone the consequences of letting too much emotions affect his cause. As a dark wizard, his thirst for knowledge, rational thinking and spirit for reseach into the mysteries of the the multiverse is weak. It’d be cool if he had some time powers added to his rune tho. He could also create his own A.I to help with his informational path. Also, about his information manipulation and will path, you can gain insights from “ Cyher in marvel comics”, “ the middle chapters of the novel; ‘Original Seeker’ on comrademao.com or mtlnovel.com. Agian these are just my thoughts if you deem them useless for what you have in store for your work you can ignore it.

SMomoTempest
SMomoTempestLv14
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