Review Detail of kakigori in Birth of The Free Bird

hey hey hey. here's your review: First off? The prologue. I absolutely love the opening paragraph. It just packs the right 'oomph', and not 'oomph' as in the cold open or 'haha gun go pew pew'. It fits thematically (which is something I'll be addressing in the next few paragraphs), and the description of the bird in question is very vivid. Forget just the first paragraph. Language aside, the entire prologue flows smoothly, and its sequence of events are woven together in a natural way. The death of the bird could be handled slightly better, but I get the intent behind it and that's all that really matters for now. There are a few anachronisms though. It's just the vitamin D thing - according to your synopsis, it takes place in the 1800s, but the first vitamin was discovered in 1912 (correct me if I'm wrong). It's a small issue and doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I gotta pad this review out somewhat, eh? Again - I've mentioned this, like, two times in my past reviews. Writing good dialogue is the quickest way to get my interest, and you've written some pretty great dialogue here. Feels like actual, living kids are talking in chapter 2. The setting they're in fits as well - it gives off the vibe of this really rustic and quaint European town somewhere in the 1800s, which I gather is precisely what you were going for. Well done. That's my review. I hope it helped you out!