Review Detail of amaturewriter in Akira in the Naruto Universe with Crocodile's abilities.

lol then this is a smut fanfic then...😅

A stupid one at that. 4 wishes just wasted. why not ask for mind control, etc . never know.

So fuking stupid. He can just wish to modify his body with his bloodline. In one wish. Not only can he get an incubus bloodline which comes with everything he asked for. He can also look like what he wants.

ah fk, theres that shit too. the incubus shit, it literally gives better affects of MC's wishes. u right, MC is a retard

In fact the 2nd wish and the 3rd are very different things, just because a woman feels desire for him does not mean that she will feel good talking to him, the 3rd desire is more focused to make women can open up to him, basically it is to make it easier for them to fall in love with him, while the 2nd will make it easier for him to take her to bed. I don't know if I could explain it very well, but I think you can understand. As for why he didn't ask for an incubus lineage it was simply because I didn't think about it and yet I don't like it very much either.

dude can control aura to the point where they are simply mindfked and loyal to him. I suggest u go check the power u choose cause that's one of its abilities [ not assumptions, etc...]...theres also the fact that all of is a waste and just a recipe for a forced story with no character development. so. yah. either way, for me its retarded. u like it, you do you. GL and GB

I cant suggest cause it'd just be me shiting on ur idea. But all I say is that the wishes are really pointless, I mean better looking, dick size is just a waste [plus as I said before, incubus, etc bodies can make already achieve better effects, I think incubus can even slave bind]. so yah,, IDK, do something about if u want. remove all wishes and just make MC able to choose appearance that attracts females instead of the complicated aura shit. also ur relationships, build and take time, show growth,,,dont make chicks fall in love or look at him and be smitten cause it just makes em look like easy sluts. take time and show build. also ur pic and title, no joke, I thought MC would be in suna or something cause of sand power and gaara. IDK, maybe change it. cause I didnt expect konoha. GL

you didn't even wish for powers?? just *** related things? you feel insecured about d*ck size?? that you give him a donkey level d*ck? that can kill a women logically speaking. who need some hentai-book that is only about f*cking womens and NTRing ppl??? why you mention this is your first try?? are you proude that your first try to write a fanfic is a hentai one?? that is obviously only aboug *** from those wishes above. are you new to webnovel? if so then let me say this example you write is simply a failure, no need to deny it cause many tried to write what? an mc that have insane huge d*ck and handsome along with making womens horny the moment they saw him? this idea already been done many time and all of them ended as utter failures. but in my opinion you should be shameless/a bit sick in mind to write such thing that make womens into ***-slaves (sluts/whores) I am not trying to insult you or anything, I tried writing too alas failed but the idea to write such a hentai-book made was rejected by my mind and my brain refuse to genrate anything related to such a sick idea. all in all we are not short of hentai, there are hentai-animes/doujins . . . . . we do not need fanfics to turn into that too.

Haha, you just responded without reading the first chapter, the MC wished for the power of Crocodile from One Piece as his first wish, so yes he have power. The novel seem more like a wish fulfilment than hentai one, otherwise the MC would have had *** before entering the academy and would have already ****ed most women xD. You need to calm down a little, when I read your comment it come as if he killed your dog or something. For the novel itself, The main reproach I have is that, in the end, the MC is a second Gaara, he have a gourd on his back as well and use sand like him, no mention of a sand body or generating sand is mentioned...

dude I know he got crocodile powers wich does show up instead he seems like he wished to be a copy of gaara (this is a fact that means he gave him absolutly nothing like Crocodile power of using sand) also may I point that he only used one wish for power that seems go not been used properly or Mr. Author just typed crocodile power in wish then next thing he made him a copy of gaara who is even if you refuse to admitt it look like an idiot with that big *ss thing 'you know what' on his back cause he keep sand in it while crocodile can generate tons of sand from his body and control all sand around him . . . . . add wasting 4 wishes for things that seems to be used for ***, 4 freaking wishes!!! I know for one that no one is dumb enough to waste 4 wishes just to make his d*ck happy (the fact that he wished for a certain d*ck size means MC feel insecured with what he have) all of this are enough reasons for me to show my dislike and you cannot come and justify my dislike by "like he killed your dog, which I do not own by the way." if you so much enjoy this type of books you can give him multi 5 stars rated reviews, but I am here and I didn't rate him cause I know if I were to give my honest rate it would be 1 since 0 is equal to not reviewing. that is the reason I am just commenting here. if you see this as an offense it is your problem, you cannot expect everyone to like what you like or tell make excuse for their dislike. that's all I have to say I am out, have a nice life

Plus having the power of sand and only sand is pretty dumb cause look at gaara he is one of the 5 large but he is the weakest one cause he only uses sand especially in fight were sand is basically useless for most people he might fight considering most people will have counters for sand like water, fire,wind which almost every character has at least one of the attributes