To the review! The good: I like the overall story. The hints of things past and things to come, the troubled heroine, her interactions with various characters, these all help make the world come alive for me. It's hard not giving away anything of the story itself, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it. The bad: Word choice is a bit strange. As an example, I'm going to re-write your first paragraph here the way I'd have written it. She wiped at drool mindlessly with her tiny palm. It had been such a good rest; this was beyond doubt. After such a good night's sleep, well, someone was in a good mood. It had been a perfect, complete night of rest! Compared to the previous night, she was quite satisfied. It's just little things here and there, but as long as 'the bad' looks it really isn't enough to call it 'bad'. Overall: The only thing that I could find to critique was word choice, as it sounds strange to me. Updates are happening at a steady pace. The story has developed in explosively good ways, over all grammar is good, the story is readable. I enjoy the character designs and how they interact like real people would in that situation. Finally, I'm enjoying the world you've shared with us. Almost perfect marks, I look forward to reading more!
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Thank you for being honest with me. I extremely appreciate your thought because hope to improve. Your advice is my encouragement to be a better author than the old me. Once again, I really appreciate every bit of your advice and thank you for reconstructed my paragraph. You are the real one. :))
