It's an interesting read. I couldn't really get into it though. Writing Quality: Your writing quality is good in some places, but not so good in others. Let's say the first paragraph, for example. The very first sentence doesn't really make sense. Stability of Updates: I don't have anything to say here. Story Development: The main reason why I couldn't really get into the story was because of the development. It jumped from one place to the next, and wasn't very fluid. It was a little too fast for me. Try to spread it out a little, and add more descriptions. What does the main character see? How does the main character process and understand things? Character Design: I couldn't really get a proper grip on the main character's personality. You really need to show what their personality is like through their actions. World Background: The world background is not expressed very well. You had that little bit right at the beginning, but don't spend some time weaving the background into the chapter.
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Do you mean during the first chapter or some of the chapters? Because I know that I need to do some fixing, but I have been correcting some of the mistakes in further chapters.
Mostly the first few chapters. The rest looked fine.
DjxCarma:Do you mean during the first chapter or some of the chapters? Because I know that I need to do some fixing, but I have been correcting some of the mistakes in further chapters.
Ok. I'll see what I can do about that to improve.
goldenchild725:Mostly the first few chapters. The rest looked fine.
