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Great_Abby
Great_AbbyLv34yr
2020-10-11 16:52

Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!Good!

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Great_Abby
Great_AbbyLv3

Great story! please don't drop! cant believe i missed this story! you should probably add game of thrones, or ASOIAF tag on the story. Anyway, about suggestions. Maybe have him fostered in the north? have sansa and arya fall for him, then when the execution of Eddard and fiasco that follows happen, the Arslan save them and the develop stockholm-syndrome. Extreme? maybe. Good for the story? HELL YEAH! And regarding the immortal serum, you should limit it to only the personal guards, and its preferably if the are around 20-35 guards. all of the are without families would be better because it is all a bit excessive to have families of immortals! so yeah. Even better if only you give the entire aremy including the personal guards the regeneration serum only since it should make them heal faster and stronger than ever. The immortality serum could take the fun off the story and ruin it if you hand it to everyone from your army. Alas, it is your choice. And it would be good if you try to maybe discover magic powers and him wield lightning? (lightning and thunder fanboy, don't blame me!) A last advice if you would take it is, it is good to have the mc overpowered. Heck! I would like to see him going on a rampage slaying dragons and monsters left and right! but it would be really, realy, really bad if everyone under hime and their mothers become overpowered, or above hte average power of humanity since it would diminish the coolness of the mc. While at it, why not add monsters to the world by gradually making some kingdoms report of the apperance of monsters, and make the mc proffesional in slaying them, so whenever a monster is mentioned, people will always mention him. so yah, make himm a legendary overpowered motherf*cker! but not his subordinates! at most only his sworn shield and sword if he would have them. In the end, it is your story mate. choose

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