Review Detail of TaintedMetal in 181: Dark Vision

The concept and the world surrounding this story is excellent. It's not often webnovels like this emerge within this site based on my reading experience. Unfortunately, it's execution needs a lot of rework. For starters, many of the dialogue is written like it's a script, like (Character name):. In addition, there's giant paragraphs. At the very least, the story does have a clear direction, but the overall visibility of the paragraphs (it's script like nature and big wall of text like paragraphs) need some revision. The content is fine, it's just the overall structure that's a bit off. In addition I feel that based on the content, this is not a martial arts book. Rather, I get more war& military vibes. Even the synopsis gives me that atmosphere, and speaking of synopsis: it needs more work. The synopsis is telling me things that are happening in the story, rather than what the story is about. This is the best score I can give due to the atmosphere of the world, which in itself is the highest score out of all the elements of this review. I know you can do better than this author, keep on writing.