Review Detail of PandaRayne in Return of the Immortal Mage

Review detail


You may think I'm being harsh but I wanted to give the author and anyone who would like to write a story some advice. I like the plot of the story, but it could use more descriptive words about his surroundings, the people he meets and the things he is doing. I would like to see punctuation when someone is speaking as it kind of disrupts the flow of the story. I was finding it very difficult to lose myself in the world of this story as by chapter 5 I am normally drawn in. Also if you want to explain a certain word can you wait until the end of the chapter please. I will check back later. I hope you still continue with writing this story just with a few tweaks. I thinks it could be a good story.


Return of the Immortal Mage


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Hmmm, Your advice is good and I had already noticed these kind of problems and they will be resolved after sometime as I will rewrite the story when I reach 100 chapter or when this season will be finished.