Item: Patient's curse and within
Rating: 4
Author: lilGoat

lilGoatLv24yr

2020-10-07 02:53

The mood is set very well and the creepy tone of the narrative gives you goosebumps alongside the characters. Although it is obvious the writer isn't a native English speaker as the descriptions sometimes fall short and the grammar is a bit odd, it doesn't disrupt the flow of the story. It's very straightforward and easy to follow along this disturbing and twisted journey. Keep at it! Grammar isn't enough to take away from a truly haunting tale.

Patient's curse and within

Glenstonx

4.7

14 Chs

Liked by 1 people

Replies3

GlenstonxAuthor

Thanks! would you specify which line/s my grammar fell short and a bit odd? so I may improve it?

4yr

lilGoatLv2

I'll give some examples, but I don't want to dictate to you how you should write or express yourself. I'm also not a native English speaker, and all I can suggest to you is to just consume English literature as much as you can, that's what helped me at least. Probably better not to read ******* webnovels though, as some of them aren't great for learning grammar. Ok so, 1st chapter 5th paragraph for example: "She where she has been going..." is an odd sentence. 2nd chapter 6th paragraph: "but the red that covered her lips accentuated above else. " I can understand what you are trying to convey it's just written sort of improperly, so it can make me stop abruptly in the flow of reading to reread it. I think you're doing a pretty good job in general, your vocabulary is solid and versatile, but sometimes the way you string the words together is unusual and so tends to pull the reader (at least me) out of the mood of the story. I hope this helped. :)

Glenstonx:Thanks! would you specify which line/s my grammar fell short and a bit odd? so I may improve it?

4yr

GlenstonxAuthor

Oops! my bad for the 5th paragraph of the first chapter, it seems i did not edit thoroughly and missed a spot. Also the line "but the red that covered her lips accentuated above else" was my way to hide the iconic lipstick she wore. Thank you so much for pointing those out! I really appreciate it

4yr

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GlenstonxAuthor

Hi!! author here~~ just want to say thank you for reading this book and adding them to your libaraies and reading lists, I truly appreciate it since it gives me motivation to continue this story, I hooe to see you all vote for my book and give me your honest opinions to improve my writings, thank you all !! :))

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