Not bad, world building is pretty solid. There are some commenters insisting on spoon-feeding. They lack the capability of just a bit of critical thinking. Overall something a bit different and very welcome.
Liked by 24 people
LIKEHey, if you need tips and writing material, check my comment here, I will leave about 2~4 comment draft there that i made in the past, should be helpful for you (take it at your own pace though, because it a bit long, and you can check anytime anyway, and it fine to only take some and not use the rest if they not suit your novel): *If you need advice and material to research, check this website of "Limyaael's Rants" below, it have over 400 topics for you to learn advice to write those topic there (take a grain of salt since some more like a rule rather than advice/tips, which isn't alway good) https://curiosityquills.com/limyaael/ then you can check the youtuber "terrible writing advice", it will show you how "not" to write those topic https://youtube.com/watch?v=TTZEFGvMH0k You can also check my main thread for any material you need here, also there are a list of good novel you can check there in my post for idea https://royalroadl.com/forums/thread/98657 (google "Forum And Writing Directory for Authors" on royalroad if you can't find my post)
MoeJam90:thank you for your kind words good sir!
* For more idea to use, especially the first one: + Sometime you need to show certain trump card of your to get certain benefit/prevent something there, for example in certain novel, one of your friend have get a dangerous ability that basically make other losing their life span and potential for further strenght there, and other faction, especially the enemy don't want to face it in the fight in the future (and currently that friend didn't joint any strong faction to have a backing aside from the mc group), so they try to assasinate him, but since the mc managed to make a teleport item that ignore all space restriction, and although he plan to hide this trump card, but notice the situation, he plan to deliberately show this card when rescure his friend, so now other can't do it now since that friend can just escape any time when they try to do so (even with trap that prevent normal teleporting), oh and don't forgot that friend are at least strong enough to not get one shoot/capture right away so he still can disappear easily. Basically it good to keep the trump card for emergency, but something you need to reveal it to gain benefit or for deterent again other from making similar thing like that again + Another idea is some certain event, although it seem like someone are planning beind to cause trouble, but when go to the source of it, the mc end up noticed that it was a unintened accident/butter fly effect. The example here is a wave of 4 arm monkey suddenly come to this region and attack the local (the thing is they should only in the way eastern side of forest instead of here), we thought it was a conspiracy (since one of the mc ally was in that region and get attacked, and they need reinforce), but in the end after the mc group try to figure out, they finally notice that the reason those monkey beast do a mass migration here is because the faction on the other side was expanding (and have nothing to do with this attacked local or mc group), and end up take over/over hunting this monkey Ecosystem, so they forced to move to other place due to that consequence/butter fly effect. So basically it a coincident, not all the events have to be around/about the mc or conspirecy thing, the mc could be just happen to be there, too many novel keep make the universe bend and go around the mc and not the opposite + And some really good video on youtube that help for planning there, and also quite realistic (but remember, those thing are more as a tool, not as a mindset): - DESTROY, DO NOT WOUND | The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli - The 48 Laws of Power (Animated) - BE FEARED | The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli - The Rules for Rulers + Self-Awareness That Transmigrators/mc ruler Should Have (if you want to make the team more important): This is what I like about this work. Not an all knowing protagonist who never misses a thing and comes up with everything by himself, while every else is just there to worship and imitate him after he shows them the way. He acknowledges from the start that he not the smartest person in the world, even intelligent as he is. But he's able to see what needs to be done, bring everyone together and point them in the right direction and has the understanding to see what's worth developing and what isn't while possessing the ability to make it all happen. He doesn't need to have all the talent personally. Just the ability to find those with the talents he needs, develop them and put the to work. He's completely essential to the plot while not being overpowered and making everyone else redundant. Very hard to come by in web novels. Most kingdom building novel forgot that people skills are as important, and that Leader of the geniuses are also fine even if the mc are not as good as other. (Source from chapter 218 of 'sword of dawnbreaker', too bad they stop translate it : https://***.webnovel.com/book/11022737906234605/45873928370977337/Sword-of-Dawnbreaker/Self-Awareness-That-Transmigrators-Should-Have)
ArashiTenebris:Hey, if you need tips and writing material, check my comment here, I will leave about 2~4 comment draft there that i made in the past, should be helpful for you (take it at your own pace though, because it a bit long, and you can check anytime anyway, and it fine to only take some and not use the rest if they not suit your novel): *If you need advice and material to research, check this website of "Limyaael's Rants" below, it have over 400 topics for you to learn advice to write those topic there (take a grain of salt since some more like a rule rather than advice/tips, which isn't alway good) https://curiosityquills.com/limyaael/ then you can check the youtuber "terrible writing advice", it will show you how "not" to write those topic https://youtube.com/watch?v=TTZEFGvMH0k You can also check my main thread for any material you need here, also there are a list of good novel you can check there in my post for idea https://royalroadl.com/forums/thread/98657 (google "Forum And Writing Directory for Authors" on royalroad if you can't find my post)
_ How to hold a government/faction together (in direct response to the video "The Rules for Rulers" from author of 'Enlightent empire', though some other part he didn't mention below are still valid there) : || 1) Distribute things of value among the people who guarantee you power, including generals, priests, businessmen (that's the content of the video) 2) However, besides money, there is a good number of other valuables which can be distributed by a ruler. Those can include, but are not limited to: prestige, land (as in european feudalism), education and political power (as in much of ancient china). 3) If you distribute among your entire population, or most of your population, evenly, it means that the ruler won't be dependent on the support from a few individuals. That's the reason for the original creation of bureaucracy and leads to either absolute monarchies or democracies. Both systems are fantastically stable and let the rulers work without outside interference, but only so long as the people of the countries are doing well. As soon as there is some economic trouble you might risk a coup. This isn't a response to the video directly, but here is a more general way to keep a country stable/avoid revolutions: There is two basic factors to guarantee a country's stability: 1) Common Goods: A common good is something which costs money to provide and benefits everyone in the country. At the most basic level, that includes external and internal security (army, police and courts) as well as roads and other infrastructure. If a government fails to provide these basic common goods which were provided before, the government is in trouble. 2) Wealth: If people lose hope, they will start a revolt to improve their lives. This happens if too many people in a population fall below a level of wealth where they can support their basic needs (food, clothes, shelter) and in systems where most people see no hope for an improved life in the future. The second point is more nebulous, so I'll give two examples: In 91 BC, the roman empire fought a war on the italian peninsula against other italian cities (called the Social War). The reason: The Italians outside of Rome were barely allowed to take part in the spoils from roman conquest. They also wanted to be Roman citizens with the same rights, to get the chance to become senator for example. At the end of the war, Rome allowed their italian cities roman citizenship and there were no other uprisings like this. This sort of practice actually had a great impact on roman policy, even slaves, or their children, could become free citizens under certain circumstances within the system. It is one of the reasons the gian roman empire stayed so stable for so long despite all the different cultures unified in it. Maybe a bit controversial, but the american dream looks very much like this sort of strategy to stabilize a country, especially the repeated assertion that anyone can become rich in america so long as they work hard enough. (credit: Sociable Hermit) || Here is some video name on youtube for more idea about ruling and politic: _ How To Do Politics _ The Problem with Foreign Aid ( Note: a solution near the end, but one factor prevent it) _ Alexander the Great: Logistics (Note: a lot of people underestimate the logistics thing here, no army can fight/conquering while they are starving, especially in medieval time, and the video show some good medieval solution for this, some fact still relevant to today) _ The Art of War - Sun Tzu - An Animated Book Summary (read some comments for more advice, and one good modern strategy comment) || There is a lot that can be done militarily before nukes are used Drone assassination, freezing of assets, using tanks and infantry, blocking trade routes with a navy, placing trade embargoes on countries, training and supplying resistance organizations, using soft power to influence the citizens to stop supporting their government. ||
ArashiTenebris:* For more idea to use, especially the first one: + Sometime you need to show certain trump card of your to get certain benefit/prevent something there, for example in certain novel, one of your friend have get a dangerous ability that basically make other losing their life span and potential for further strenght there, and other faction, especially the enemy don't want to face it in the fight in the future (and currently that friend didn't joint any strong faction to have a backing aside from the mc group), so they try to assasinate him, but since the mc managed to make a teleport item that ignore all space restriction, and although he plan to hide this trump card, but notice the situation, he plan to deliberately show this card when rescure his friend, so now other can't do it now since that friend can just escape any time when they try to do so (even with trap that prevent normal teleporting), oh and don't forgot that friend are at least strong enough to not get one shoot/capture right away so he still can disappear easily. Basically it good to keep the trump card for emergency, but something you need to reveal it to gain benefit or for deterent again other from making similar thing like that again + Another idea is some certain event, although it seem like someone are planning beind to cause trouble, but when go to the source of it, the mc end up noticed that it was a unintened accident/butter fly effect. The example here is a wave of 4 arm monkey suddenly come to this region and attack the local (the thing is they should only in the way eastern side of forest instead of here), we thought it was a conspiracy (since one of the mc ally was in that region and get attacked, and they need reinforce), but in the end after the mc group try to figure out, they finally notice that the reason those monkey beast do a mass migration here is because the faction on the other side was expanding (and have nothing to do with this attacked local or mc group), and end up take over/over hunting this monkey Ecosystem, so they forced to move to other place due to that consequence/butter fly effect. So basically it a coincident, not all the events have to be around/about the mc or conspirecy thing, the mc could be just happen to be there, too many novel keep make the universe bend and go around the mc and not the opposite + And some really good video on youtube that help for planning there, and also quite realistic (but remember, those thing are more as a tool, not as a mindset): - DESTROY, DO NOT WOUND | The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli - The 48 Laws of Power (Animated) - BE FEARED | The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli - The Rules for Rulers + Self-Awareness That Transmigrators/mc ruler Should Have (if you want to make the team more important): This is what I like about this work. Not an all knowing protagonist who never misses a thing and comes up with everything by himself, while every else is just there to worship and imitate him after he shows them the way. He acknowledges from the start that he not the smartest person in the world, even intelligent as he is. But he's able to see what needs to be done, bring everyone together and point them in the right direction and has the understanding to see what's worth developing and what isn't while possessing the ability to make it all happen. He doesn't need to have all the talent personally. Just the ability to find those with the talents he needs, develop them and put the to work. He's completely essential to the plot while not being overpowered and making everyone else redundant. Very hard to come by in web novels. Most kingdom building novel forgot that people skills are as important, and that Leader of the geniuses are also fine even if the mc are not as good as other. (Source from chapter 218 of 'sword of dawnbreaker', too bad they stop translate it : https://***.webnovel.com/book/11022737906234605/45873928370977337/Sword-of-Dawnbreaker/Self-Awareness-That-Transmigrators-Should-Have)
* In case you need more idea for social/psycholophy stuff and romance thing, I suggest you check this from my old draft (nothing personal, it was for other author at that time): (Most of the channel 'Psych2Go' video are for get better idea in diagnosis mental illness, and aware about social/how they behavior, so take a grain of salt since even if you have 1 sign of toxic of all 10 doesn't mean you are fully toxic, and the opposite are also true, this depend from case to case), and since this site don't allow link so I post youtube video name instead: _ '10 Things "Nice Guys" Always Do WRONG' (10:50 long, from topthink channel) _ '7 Signs You May Not Be Ready for a Relationship' (6:03 long, especially number 3 and 4, where it more like you consider her a 'project' to be rescued/fixed the emotion damage instead of someone you want to be in a relationship with, as friend or lover. If That the case when you try to 'ship' the mc with her.) _ '12 Signs You're in an Unhealthy Relationship' (5:16 long, especially number 5, because relationship is about invest and sharing burden from both side, not one sided way, which a lot of those who have no idea about how relationship work think that way, because if it just one sided way, even if it man or woman, that is take advance of someone. Don't forget that there are more than just 'lover/wife' for 'relationship', there are still relationship as friend, family, brother and sister, even if blood or not blood related) _ '12 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship' (5:15 long. Now that how to have a good relationship, also note, if you note this and the video above do mention about 'Argue' part, try to listen the video fully, because the above is for case where you argue all the time, even meaniless/small thing, while other is for trying to understand each other, try to express their own feeling and their own view, and to prevent from bottling up your feeling too much that it turn to resentment) p/s: the previous comment is a bit long so move to here instead _"Rebel Inc." is a unique and deeply engaging political/military strategic simulation from the creator of ‘Plague Inc.' (my note: from what I see so far about this game, it really good and do give a good idea of how political/military, and city/land building work in real life, at least in the "take over and stabilize the country" scenario, but a lot of it still can apply for other scenario things, mostly kingdom/city building stuff, beside in the upgrade part, it also do give a good explain/solution for how it work, that you can apply for the story here, oh and since the new update add a lot of more stuff, include mechanic that should reflect real life better, like the more 'grey option' stuff instead of mostly white or black option like smuggling, and finally you can check 'K 2' campaign to see most of the game feature in latest update, since most other one are outdated, you can check the game website for more update to see what big thing they add that could give more idea for real life, for example 'Charity Watchdog' to prevent corruption when someone do charity for the region) - (game description) The war is ‘over’ - but we all know that doesn’t mean anything. To stabilize the country, you need to balance military and civilian priorities to win the hearts and minds of the people, whilst also stopping insurgents from seizing power! Rebel Inc. offers a deeply engaging, strategic challenge inspired by the complexities and consequences of modern counter insurgency _ You can check this game review for idea quick 'Starsector Review | Explore the Cosmos™ | Ruin Everything™', include black market stuff concept, this game sure pretty delve deep in some underworld stuff that you can check for reference, for economy one, you can also quick check this 'Recettear Review | Capitalism Ho! | Merchant Edition', the game isn't perfect but this guy sure show lot of real life idea related to economy in this video, and his review fun to watch, too
ArashiTenebris:_ How to hold a government/faction together (in direct response to the video "The Rules for Rulers" from author of 'Enlightent empire', though some other part he didn't mention below are still valid there) : || 1) Distribute things of value among the people who guarantee you power, including generals, priests, businessmen (that's the content of the video) 2) However, besides money, there is a good number of other valuables which can be distributed by a ruler. Those can include, but are not limited to: prestige, land (as in european feudalism), education and political power (as in much of ancient china). 3) If you distribute among your entire population, or most of your population, evenly, it means that the ruler won't be dependent on the support from a few individuals. That's the reason for the original creation of bureaucracy and leads to either absolute monarchies or democracies. Both systems are fantastically stable and let the rulers work without outside interference, but only so long as the people of the countries are doing well. As soon as there is some economic trouble you might risk a coup. This isn't a response to the video directly, but here is a more general way to keep a country stable/avoid revolutions: There is two basic factors to guarantee a country's stability: 1) Common Goods: A common good is something which costs money to provide and benefits everyone in the country. At the most basic level, that includes external and internal security (army, police and courts) as well as roads and other infrastructure. If a government fails to provide these basic common goods which were provided before, the government is in trouble. 2) Wealth: If people lose hope, they will start a revolt to improve their lives. This happens if too many people in a population fall below a level of wealth where they can support their basic needs (food, clothes, shelter) and in systems where most people see no hope for an improved life in the future. The second point is more nebulous, so I'll give two examples: In 91 BC, the roman empire fought a war on the italian peninsula against other italian cities (called the Social War). The reason: The Italians outside of Rome were barely allowed to take part in the spoils from roman conquest. They also wanted to be Roman citizens with the same rights, to get the chance to become senator for example. At the end of the war, Rome allowed their italian cities roman citizenship and there were no other uprisings like this. This sort of practice actually had a great impact on roman policy, even slaves, or their children, could become free citizens under certain circumstances within the system. It is one of the reasons the gian roman empire stayed so stable for so long despite all the different cultures unified in it. Maybe a bit controversial, but the american dream looks very much like this sort of strategy to stabilize a country, especially the repeated assertion that anyone can become rich in america so long as they work hard enough. (credit: Sociable Hermit) || Here is some video name on youtube for more idea about ruling and politic: _ How To Do Politics _ The Problem with Foreign Aid ( Note: a solution near the end, but one factor prevent it) _ Alexander the Great: Logistics (Note: a lot of people underestimate the logistics thing here, no army can fight/conquering while they are starving, especially in medieval time, and the video show some good medieval solution for this, some fact still relevant to today) _ The Art of War - Sun Tzu - An Animated Book Summary (read some comments for more advice, and one good modern strategy comment) || There is a lot that can be done militarily before nukes are used Drone assassination, freezing of assets, using tanks and infantry, blocking trade routes with a navy, placing trade embargoes on countries, training and supplying resistance organizations, using soft power to influence the citizens to stop supporting their government. ||
Great read, thanks!
ArashiTenebris:_ How to hold a government/faction together (in direct response to the video "The Rules for Rulers" from author of 'Enlightent empire', though some other part he didn't mention below are still valid there) : || 1) Distribute things of value among the people who guarantee you power, including generals, priests, businessmen (that's the content of the video) 2) However, besides money, there is a good number of other valuables which can be distributed by a ruler. Those can include, but are not limited to: prestige, land (as in european feudalism), education and political power (as in much of ancient china). 3) If you distribute among your entire population, or most of your population, evenly, it means that the ruler won't be dependent on the support from a few individuals. That's the reason for the original creation of bureaucracy and leads to either absolute monarchies or democracies. Both systems are fantastically stable and let the rulers work without outside interference, but only so long as the people of the countries are doing well. As soon as there is some economic trouble you might risk a coup. This isn't a response to the video directly, but here is a more general way to keep a country stable/avoid revolutions: There is two basic factors to guarantee a country's stability: 1) Common Goods: A common good is something which costs money to provide and benefits everyone in the country. At the most basic level, that includes external and internal security (army, police and courts) as well as roads and other infrastructure. If a government fails to provide these basic common goods which were provided before, the government is in trouble. 2) Wealth: If people lose hope, they will start a revolt to improve their lives. This happens if too many people in a population fall below a level of wealth where they can support their basic needs (food, clothes, shelter) and in systems where most people see no hope for an improved life in the future. The second point is more nebulous, so I'll give two examples: In 91 BC, the roman empire fought a war on the italian peninsula against other italian cities (called the Social War). The reason: The Italians outside of Rome were barely allowed to take part in the spoils from roman conquest. They also wanted to be Roman citizens with the same rights, to get the chance to become senator for example. At the end of the war, Rome allowed their italian cities roman citizenship and there were no other uprisings like this. This sort of practice actually had a great impact on roman policy, even slaves, or their children, could become free citizens under certain circumstances within the system. It is one of the reasons the gian roman empire stayed so stable for so long despite all the different cultures unified in it. Maybe a bit controversial, but the american dream looks very much like this sort of strategy to stabilize a country, especially the repeated assertion that anyone can become rich in america so long as they work hard enough. (credit: Sociable Hermit) || Here is some video name on youtube for more idea about ruling and politic: _ How To Do Politics _ The Problem with Foreign Aid ( Note: a solution near the end, but one factor prevent it) _ Alexander the Great: Logistics (Note: a lot of people underestimate the logistics thing here, no army can fight/conquering while they are starving, especially in medieval time, and the video show some good medieval solution for this, some fact still relevant to today) _ The Art of War - Sun Tzu - An Animated Book Summary (read some comments for more advice, and one good modern strategy comment) || There is a lot that can be done militarily before nukes are used Drone assassination, freezing of assets, using tanks and infantry, blocking trade routes with a navy, placing trade embargoes on countries, training and supplying resistance organizations, using soft power to influence the citizens to stop supporting their government. ||
dude go outside,I mean if I of all people have to tell you that,then you have a problem
ArashiTenebris:* In case you need more idea for social/psycholophy stuff and romance thing, I suggest you check this from my old draft (nothing personal, it was for other author at that time): (Most of the channel 'Psych2Go' video are for get better idea in diagnosis mental illness, and aware about social/how they behavior, so take a grain of salt since even if you have 1 sign of toxic of all 10 doesn't mean you are fully toxic, and the opposite are also true, this depend from case to case), and since this site don't allow link so I post youtube video name instead: _ '10 Things "Nice Guys" Always Do WRONG' (10:50 long, from topthink channel) _ '7 Signs You May Not Be Ready for a Relationship' (6:03 long, especially number 3 and 4, where it more like you consider her a 'project' to be rescued/fixed the emotion damage instead of someone you want to be in a relationship with, as friend or lover. If That the case when you try to 'ship' the mc with her.) _ '12 Signs You're in an Unhealthy Relationship' (5:16 long, especially number 5, because relationship is about invest and sharing burden from both side, not one sided way, which a lot of those who have no idea about how relationship work think that way, because if it just one sided way, even if it man or woman, that is take advance of someone. Don't forget that there are more than just 'lover/wife' for 'relationship', there are still relationship as friend, family, brother and sister, even if blood or not blood related) _ '12 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship' (5:15 long. Now that how to have a good relationship, also note, if you note this and the video above do mention about 'Argue' part, try to listen the video fully, because the above is for case where you argue all the time, even meaniless/small thing, while other is for trying to understand each other, try to express their own feeling and their own view, and to prevent from bottling up your feeling too much that it turn to resentment) p/s: the previous comment is a bit long so move to here instead _"Rebel Inc." is a unique and deeply engaging political/military strategic simulation from the creator of ‘Plague Inc.' (my note: from what I see so far about this game, it really good and do give a good idea of how political/military, and city/land building work in real life, at least in the "take over and stabilize the country" scenario, but a lot of it still can apply for other scenario things, mostly kingdom/city building stuff, beside in the upgrade part, it also do give a good explain/solution for how it work, that you can apply for the story here, oh and since the new update add a lot of more stuff, include mechanic that should reflect real life better, like the more 'grey option' stuff instead of mostly white or black option like smuggling, and finally you can check 'K 2' campaign to see most of the game feature in latest update, since most other one are outdated, you can check the game website for more update to see what big thing they add that could give more idea for real life, for example 'Charity Watchdog' to prevent corruption when someone do charity for the region) - (game description) The war is ‘over’ - but we all know that doesn’t mean anything. To stabilize the country, you need to balance military and civilian priorities to win the hearts and minds of the people, whilst also stopping insurgents from seizing power! Rebel Inc. offers a deeply engaging, strategic challenge inspired by the complexities and consequences of modern counter insurgency _ You can check this game review for idea quick 'Starsector Review | Explore the Cosmos™ | Ruin Everything™', include black market stuff concept, this game sure pretty delve deep in some underworld stuff that you can check for reference, for economy one, you can also quick check this 'Recettear Review | Capitalism Ho! | Merchant Edition', the game isn't perfect but this guy sure show lot of real life idea related to economy in this video, and his review fun to watch, too
So you reply to a 1 year old comment and just bashing right away by claim that you are 'special' just to judge someone ? You also need to check yourself then (Beside most of this are from my draft for kingdom building novel I was going to read at that time as a general idea for author anyway, and will tailor more specific when I read further since all of that stuff are just not even 10% of my material draft, and yes, I collect it over few year so not that strange). That all, and I don't active much on this site anyway so we should go on our own way then.
Comrade_Deady:dude go outside,I mean if I of all people have to tell you that,then you have a problem
I'm not reading an article just cus you can't type a few paragraphs,if anything you just did it again
ArashiTenebris:So you reply to a 1 year old comment and just bashing right away by claim that you are 'special' just to judge someone ? You also need to check yourself then (Beside most of this are from my draft for kingdom building novel I was going to read at that time as a general idea for author anyway, and will tailor more specific when I read further since all of that stuff are just not even 10% of my material draft, and yes, I collect it over few year so not that strange). That all, and I don't active much on this site anyway so we should go on our own way then.
That isn't even long (the comment didn't link anything) and are you using 'too long' excuse for every debate that you didn't come to liking, even if they try to be neutral and reasonable ? Then just mind your own business, I aren't wasting time for meaningless argument.
Comrade_Deady:I'm not reading an article just cus you can't type a few paragraphs,if anything you just did it again
you just did it AGAIN
ArashiTenebris:That isn't even long (the comment didn't link anything) and are you using 'too long' excuse for every debate that you didn't come to liking, even if they try to be neutral and reasonable ? Then just mind your own business, I aren't wasting time for meaningless argument.