Review Detail of Jack_Dragneel_9877 in The Demon Monarch System
Review detail
The story was good, but the quality was becoming worse and worse, The power balance is skewed, we see him defeat level 3-4? Zull Warriors when he as I think Mortal 4-5? But after a time skip, he cannot defeat 6-7? Zull Warriors while he is level 8 Mortal Rank. And the story becomes more idiotic as it goes. I stopped reading it after he decided to return to the family for NO REASON at all. We see him tell himself that he severed all relationships with the family. But after the time skip, he meets them, and his so-called "Aunt" who didn't help him during his misery at all is some kind of "Saint" that constantly helps the MC and loves him. But it is stated before that no one had ever helped him before???? And why does he even want to go back to the family?
The Demon Monarch System
Syphiinz
Liked by 18 people
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Yeah I can write mine and I'm sure it would be better. To be a good author is to listen to opinions and a read a lot of stories and improve on writing. I've read so many stories on webnovel and other platforms online or offline and I can tell u you need to improve. Don't just take everyone telling you u need to improve they don't like your story.
Syphiinz:Cool, or you can take your opinion to write your own lol. Simple, yeah? 🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
Everyone won't like the storyline of a book. That just means this isn't for you, I hope you venture and find one for you. As for the power balance, it wasn't made to be balanced. Since this is basically a pit stop world, the first 2 cultivation realms become skewed by the trait his body continues to adopt. After those, every thing regulates. And, the aunt wasn't a Saint, it wasn't state explicitly that she did nothing at all. She said she didn't do her best to go against the Grand Elder. Also, I don't where you stopped if you believed he returned to the family for no reason. If you haven't reached where he unlocked his First Sin, then the reason why is lost on you. Anywho, thanks for your feedback.
Syphiinz:Everyone won't like the storyline of a book. That just means this isn't for you, I hope you venture and find one for you. As for the power balance, it wasn't made to be balanced. Since this is basically a pit stop world, the first 2 cultivation realms become skewed by the trait his body continues to adopt. After those, every thing regulates. And, the aunt wasn't a Saint, it wasn't state explicitly that she did nothing at all. She said she didn't do her best to go against the Grand Elder. Also, I don't where you stopped if you believed he returned to the family for no reason. If you haven't reached where he unlocked his First Sin, then the reason why is lost on you. Anywho, thanks for your feedback.
I stopped when he reached the family, an while I admit that the day I commented I was frustrated, because of other things, you could have at least made the interactions between the mc and the aunt better. You said that she didn't oppose or want against the grand elder, when the mc was weak, but now that he at least had some strength, she somehow has that courage or whatever, and to me that's kinda shallow.
Syphiinz:Everyone won't like the storyline of a book. That just means this isn't for you, I hope you venture and find one for you. As for the power balance, it wasn't made to be balanced. Since this is basically a pit stop world, the first 2 cultivation realms become skewed by the trait his body continues to adopt. After those, every thing regulates. And, the aunt wasn't a Saint, it wasn't state explicitly that she did nothing at all. She said she didn't do her best to go against the Grand Elder. Also, I don't where you stopped if you believed he returned to the family for no reason. If you haven't reached where he unlocked his First Sin, then the reason why is lost on you. Anywho, thanks for your feedback.
She didn't physically confront the family, Apollo did that himself. Also, this isn't an amicable novel where family is the best bond. It's a novel about actual demons and not humans that act demonlike. With that being said, the most interesting part of the storyline is when demons come into play; which is now. Nevertheless, I can understand how you expected more if you were looking forward to deep familial ties. Plus, I'm going back and changing the writing style to what it is now in my free time.
Jack_Dragneel_9877:I stopped when he reached the family, an while I admit that the day I commented I was frustrated, because of other things, you could have at least made the interactions between the mc and the aunt better. You said that she didn't oppose or want against the grand elder, when the mc was weak, but now that he at least had some strength, she somehow has that courage or whatever, and to me that's kinda shallow.
Please dont make it where The mc wants to keep his humanity if you get what am saying where he acts like a actual demon but keeps some sainty where he can make Schemes and etc
Syphiinz:She didn't physically confront the family, Apollo did that himself. Also, this isn't an amicable novel where family is the best bond. It's a novel about actual demons and not humans that act demonlike. With that being said, the most interesting part of the storyline is when demons come into play; which is now. Nevertheless, I can understand how you expected more if you were looking forward to deep familial ties. Plus, I'm going back and changing the writing style to what it is now in my free time.
I'm tired of these stories that tries to make people believe the MC understands deceit, hypocrisy and other vile nature or behaviours and have learned from them only Dive straight back in. The MC is just naive even be two deaths. Plus if u ask me, the whole family is just plain wicked, even his aunt is a devil. I don't think a stray dog should be treated the way he was treated. And what the heck was that about what his Aunt was saying when he left the family - a 10yr old kid left alone in a world like that. And all she could say was "oh he would become this", " oh the clan don't regret that". I think this story could have done better on the psychological and emotional level.
You can't blame poor story writing on people not liking the story. You need to understand that every story must have a plot line, character, and story that follows certain principles. You can't write anything and expect everyone to just take it as it is. Improve on your writing
Syphiinz:Everyone won't like the storyline of a book. That just means this isn't for you, I hope you venture and find one for you. As for the power balance, it wasn't made to be balanced. Since this is basically a pit stop world, the first 2 cultivation realms become skewed by the trait his body continues to adopt. After those, every thing regulates. And, the aunt wasn't a Saint, it wasn't state explicitly that she did nothing at all. She said she didn't do her best to go against the Grand Elder. Also, I don't where you stopped if you believed he returned to the family for no reason. If you haven't reached where he unlocked his First Sin, then the reason why is lost on you. Anywho, thanks for your feedback.
John_Or:You can't blame poor story writing on people not liking the story. You need to understand that every story must have a plot line, character, and story that follows certain principles. You can't write anything and expect everyone to just take it as it is. Improve on your writing