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daphneanmarcia
daphneanmarciaLv24yr
2020-09-12 19:52

I read the first few chapters of your book. It was very impressive. I liked the writing plot. The suggestion I have is describe ur character a bit more, like her hair or looks, to make readers imagine the character.

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Other Reviews
Dingoa
DingoaLv2

Hello, whoever is reading this review. If you're debating whether to check this story out or not, I say you should do it. It's fun, imaginative, mystical, full of great scenery, and a handful of subplots are developing that are woven in nicely. I'm going to attempt a bit of a breakdown of my personal opinion (but I've only read through the first 19 legit chapters + auxiliary once, so keep that in mind): I like the characters. They are diverse in their looks and personalities, which is always a good thing. None of them irritate me (there's a difference between a character who is supposed to have a few irritating moments and when a character is irritating fundamentally) , and none of them seem inhumanly perfect. Penelope and Jack especially piqued my interest in the beginning, but as the story went on I became more interested in Lila, the three R's, and our protagonist, Lia. I'll admit that in the beginning, I didn't get much out of the protagonist. I think there was just so much action going on that there wasn't much room left to make the POV feel personal. But as things progressed in the story, that changed, and she felt like a character (and a good one at that) and less like a mere narrator. It becomes more clear WHY she's the main character when you get to the middle of the story. The settings are great. Not only are they themselves beautiful (and great at reflecting the mood of the scenes that happen within them), but I think the author does a good job of describing them so it's possible to picture them in your head. The plot is overall good and paced pretty well. Things were a little bam-bam-bam (fast-paced) in the beginning and I sometimes found them hard to follow, but that issue quickly disappeared. I like how mysterious the main story is, with this new world that Lia is rediscovering, and the memories that are surfacing. But I also like the subplots (although the triangular tension between Lia, Jack, and Conall seems a tiny bit cliche - but hey, nothing wrong with that), and I like the way that the author gives each character their own time to shine in their own respective chapters while keeping the plot going. I also find the lack of chronological order fun. As long as the author maintains the clarity in the time-jumping, things shouldn't get confusing. The updates are stable and frequent so far, which is impressive. And the writing style is nice and easy to follow, but the words themselves are convoluted at times, which I think could be fixed with reviewing the punctuation. And remember that each time a new person speaks, you need to start a new paragraph. Overall, it's a worth space-consumer of WN. Readers, please give the author some feedback! Even the small things seem to go appreciated by her, and she wants your suggestions, good and bad. She takes criticism well. Anyhoo, I'll be coming back when there's more stuff to see. :) Keep up the good work.

bibiyenini
bibiyeniniLv3
Xunli
XunliLv2
NyanNyan12
NyanNyan12Lv2
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