webnovel
spicyscribbles
spicyscribblesLv24yr
2020-09-11 08:35

The action scenes in this story are intense and gripping, so if that's what floats your boat, I'd definitely recommend this piece. The descriptions of the story's settings and characters are good, but they could be more detailed!! There are other parts of the story that could also use more elaboration, for example where did the MC get all their knowledge from? Besides those minor issues, this story is headed in a positive direction ^u^

Hybrid’s Revelation

RJMidnight
4.8
8 Chs

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies6
RJMidnight
RJMidnightAuthor

The MC stayed with the family for a year already and got his knowledge from them. But he also got knowledge from exploring the forest and overhearing hunters and creatures.

4yr
spicyscribbles
spicyscribblesLv2

I get that, which is why I didn't say it was bad, but it could just use more detail. I was thinking like maybe smthn like you could have described him finding out he could transform/fly/breathe fire because it wouldn't really make sense for him to know that inherently ykyk?? And then you maybe could have added his reaction to finding all the out to spice things up oho. But your story is p good overall :D

RJMidnight:The MC stayed with the family for a year already and got his knowledge from them. But he also got knowledge from exploring the forest and overhearing hunters and creatures.
4yr
1
RJMidnight
RJMidnightAuthor

He learned flying and breathing fire through instincts because he is a dragon and demon, but a raven too (since he takes on that form). Him transform is something else, but I did foreshadow that he will be able to have another form in the chapter when he fought the creatures. For now, I am focusing on him protecting the family. Anything about him and how he learned stuff will not be introduced until later, later on. There will be flashbacks in this story, just not now. Right now I am showing him being a protector. I’m focusing on him, but not focusing on him(until later on), you know what I mean?

spicyscribbles:I get that, which is why I didn't say it was bad, but it could just use more detail. I was thinking like maybe smthn like you could have described him finding out he could transform/fly/breathe fire because it wouldn't really make sense for him to know that inherently ykyk?? And then you maybe could have added his reaction to finding all the out to spice things up oho. But your story is p good overall :D
4yr
RJMidnight
RJMidnightAuthor

*his

RJMidnight:He learned flying and breathing fire through instincts because he is a dragon and demon, but a raven too (since he takes on that form). Him transform is something else, but I did foreshadow that he will be able to have another form in the chapter when he fought the creatures. For now, I am focusing on him protecting the family. Anything about him and how he learned stuff will not be introduced until later, later on. There will be flashbacks in this story, just not now. Right now I am showing him being a protector. I’m focusing on him, but not focusing on him(until later on), you know what I mean?
4yr
spicyscribbles
spicyscribblesLv2

Yea, I see what you're doin!! Good luck w writing!!

RJMidnight:He learned flying and breathing fire through instincts because he is a dragon and demon, but a raven too (since he takes on that form). Him transform is something else, but I did foreshadow that he will be able to have another form in the chapter when he fought the creatures. For now, I am focusing on him protecting the family. Anything about him and how he learned stuff will not be introduced until later, later on. There will be flashbacks in this story, just not now. Right now I am showing him being a protector. I’m focusing on him, but not focusing on him(until later on), you know what I mean?
4yr
1
RJMidnight
RJMidnightAuthor

Thank you!

spicyscribbles:Yea, I see what you're doin!! Good luck w writing!!
4yr
1
Other Reviews
RJMidnight
RJMidnightAuthor

Author here! I apologize for doing this, but I joined KDP Select and can only show 10% of book one. Chapters 5-46 are gone. If you want to read them, my book is only $1.99 on Amazon. Chapters 1-4 of book one is here while Chapters 47-? of book two are still here and available. Once again, I am sorry, and please understand why I did this. Thank you for all your support!

4yr

Gery_
Gery_Lv14

Well built world with great character! Nice grammer and vocab and also smooth feeling while reading, so ith has great potential! Keep up the good work!

4yr
Allen_Clay012
Allen_Clay012Lv4

Well written and quality writing. The story development and character design is good. Having a non-human MC is quite refreshing as well. Everything seems to be creative and the length of the chapters justifies about the information that the author is trying to convey, us the readers! Without much being said, the story is good. I recommend it, maybe in the future I will read more chapters to understand more of this interesting story. Thank you for reading my review! -The TradeMaker

4yr
Kiarakent
KiarakentLv1

The story is very well written. The character build is excellent. The characters and the story line blends well. I'm eager to read more. Please update soon

4yr
LyingCrowPromises
LyingCrowPromisesLv10

I love the premise. A forbidden love's fruit is sent to another world. The writing quality is great, characters are all relatable, especially the children, and the world background is slowly being expanded, but I love that for now Endru is focused on keeping his family safe.

4yr
Mineva
MinevaLv14

Very interesting concept and it's quite refreshing to read considering that there's only so much info you can cram per chapter. This is a wonderful time to pass the time and it's definitely worth reading.

4yr
Barry_Thomas
Barry_ThomasLv1

I was hooked by just the synopsis lol and honestly the way you built the world the story is set is was done really well. I am hoping I can get to that level sometime. Your characters seem really interesting too. Good job all the way!

4yr
GraceCayford
GraceCayfordLv2

Reveal spoiler

4yr
RamdevGC
RamdevGCLv1

Good novel man, you're a pro. I get that ur American? or are you not but an English teacher? The grammar is on point and punctuations aren't wrong unlike mine hahaha. It's a good story but I find the world (environment) and characters hard to imagine as I don't know how they look like. But you know, that's just me man, I tend to read books who describe their characters on how/what they look like. KUDOS! will read new updates soon.

4yr
sae_boo
sae_booLv10

The story is very captivating, as well as the world building is immense within the first few chapters. You can really visualize the world the author is trying to make. The writing and story flow is authentic and keeps your on your toes as you read from chapter to chaper. Good work author!

4yr
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