webnovel
tuba_san
tuba_sanLv34yr
2020-09-10 17:23

This novel is one of those where the MC gets a system not to power-up themselves but to run a business. I personally really like this kind of novels, so it's interesting to read. So far there are only 4 chapters so I guess the shop would become more and more popular overtime. A few suggestions I wanted to give based on my personal opinion (author you can ignore these if you want since they are just my opinions) Do a bit more world building, there are certain things I was able to imagine on my own but also things that I couldn't create a mental image of. One such thing is the shop: there is a transformation but the reader doesn't get to know much about how it looks now compared to before. I'd recommend checking out Black Tech Internet Cafe or some other similar novels to get inspiration on how to describe the changes. From the general writing perspective I'd suggest avoiding repetitive use of words such as realized and shabby, and look for some synonyms. The plot is a bit fast but I don't mind that too much. Overall it's a very nice novel. I hope Lin Fan's sister isn't crazy and the shop grows well. Keep working hard!

Liked by 58 people

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Replies4
DanteDiablos
DanteDiablosLv5

Im liking this for two reasons! Number one! It's a good review. Number two!(an the main one lol) That you like this genre of novels. They are good.

Mimo_Mino
Mimo_MinoLv3

That's a different concepts from power craze people

Zenithlr
ZenithlrLv4

Like Astral Pet Store. Running a business while getting stronger but this novel don't have the getting stronger part??

Mkaliasili
MkaliasiliLv15

Do you have any recommendations

Other Reviews
Hao_Abao
Hao_AbaoLv5
EspersLv6
EspersLv6Lv3

I'm sorry to give such a low rating but the author doesn't know what to write. I don't mean grammar, I'm not English and I can understand history very well. He writes without thinking about future or previous chapters, he focuses only on the current story arc. Take for example when the Lin family is kidnapped: The parents are weak and the protagonist has to bow, huh no, plot twist, they are actually much stronger than they show! This is revealed in the future, but then why did the father allow his family to be kidnapped? But it doesn't matter, it's a bad thing but it didn't bring this to the drop, but the exact same thing happens shortly after (shortly after the parents reveal their power), even worse than in the beginning. The protagonist does nothing when his mother and sister are taken away in front of him, despite the fact that the enemy has said he wants them both, making it clear what he wants the two women ... I continued reading to find out the motivation, which marked the drop of the series: "Oh no, because if you intervene, your father will have a block, it doesn't matter if your sister and your mother are violated." (The phrase is not quite like that, but the gist is this. We know that nothing will happen, since the author is not faithful to what he writes and invents things to create plot twists that break the plot). This is why I dropped, but there are a lot of smaller errors, which don't make the story understand. Like the conflict of the two souls within the protagonist, which was not transmitted at all. Conflict? Nothing ever happened between the two souls, it's just a stretch for the growth of the protagonist. The relationships of the characters that come out of nowhere. The fact that the protagonist loves animals (even when he was on earth, written as someone who defended and saved animals), and then makes them die only because they can be brought to life. In short, there are many errors of writing (not English). Besides this is an unoriginal story, I have never read astral pet shop or what it's called, so I don't judge the beginning. I just say that he does not quote but copies many things, such as the character of Momonga (not a quote), the tribulations of the sky / lightning, the examination of the tamers which is identical to two other stories (theory to a very famous one, and practical punching beasts to improve their strength, which you should have already read in another fairly famous story). In short, I do not recommend the story. The rating is not a precise star, a little more (1,8), since it has some nice chapters, but it is not enough for the two stars. I struggled to read up to chapter 300+, as I didn't want to drop until I figured things out, but that chapter is pretty awful.

Mangoguns
MangogunsLv3
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