Review Detail of the_fallen in THE MESSENGER OF DEATH

feedback:Hey. Looks like someone has stolen and published your story on Amazon. https://***.amazon.com/Messenger-Death-Rain-Fox-ebook/dp/B08L5H7MCS/ You can get the novel taken down if you submit a copyright violation claim. There's a link to do that at the bottom of the novel page. Best wishes, ramon

scscs:Hello auhtor, I have been enjoying the first ~40 chapters, your writing is ‘smooth’ enough for me to not drop just after the first chapter, you still have room for improvment to reach the level of the best auhtors of this website, but as you are a new writer it’s totaly normal. My issues with your story: The MC is introduced as one of the best assassin/killer, however, I find that his behavior and personnality doesn’t always match with that image, I know he is still young but according to his profession he should be patient, deceitful, paranoid, meticulous, not rash and capable of adaptability, things that we haven’t seen a lot so far. I understand that he is not alone in his head but he should not be too far from the description above, he is not calculative enough and an assassin should not be too naive even if he is 15yo. Now about the power system and ranks, we don’t know everything yet but I must give you this warning: Don’t make the combat system end up like the one in Martial God Asura (MGA) Let me explain how MGA fights work: Cultivation realm + bloddline boost + special power boost + item boost + forbiden pill boost + secret technique boost = Final Cultivation Realm Whoever has the highest final cultivation realm wins, if equal, the mc wins. It BORING, they throw martial arts named [divIne xxx art] at each other and follow the formula to determine the winner. Power levels are useful for us readers to estimate the battle prowess of a character, but it should never become something that restrain and shackle your freedom and creativity. The best fights are those we don’t know the outcome of. There are not necessarily only 2 or 3 outcomes for a fight like win/lost/draw. I would recommend you to read Lord of the Mysteries, one of if not the best book on this website, the fighting scenes are really great ( almost everything is top-notch about this book). Oh and don’t make the mc too OP pls. Please take my comment as construcive critiscism :) I do think that your story has great potential, keep up with the good work!

Nikhil_Chand:will this be harem or power couple?

scscs:Hello auhtor, I have been enjoying the first ~40 chapters, your writing is ‘smooth’ enough for me to not drop just after the first chapter, you still have room for improvment to reach the level of the best auhtors of this website, but as you are a new writer it’s totaly normal. My issues with your story: The MC is introduced as one of the best assassin/killer, however, I find that his behavior and personnality doesn’t always match with that image, I know he is still young but according to his profession he should be patient, deceitful, paranoid, meticulous, not rash and capable of adaptability, things that we haven’t seen a lot so far. I understand that he is not alone in his head but he should not be too far from the description above, he is not calculative enough and an assassin should not be too naive even if he is 15yo. Now about the power system and ranks, we don’t know everything yet but I must give you this warning: Don’t make the combat system end up like the one in Martial God Asura (MGA) Let me explain how MGA fights work: Cultivation realm + bloddline boost + special power boost + item boost + forbiden pill boost + secret technique boost = Final Cultivation Realm Whoever has the highest final cultivation realm wins, if equal, the mc wins. It BORING, they throw martial arts named [divIne xxx art] at each other and follow the formula to determine the winner. Power levels are useful for us readers to estimate the battle prowess of a character, but it should never become something that restrain and shackle your freedom and creativity. The best fights are those we don’t know the outcome of. There are not necessarily only 2 or 3 outcomes for a fight like win/lost/draw. I would recommend you to read Lord of the Mysteries, one of if not the best book on this website, the fighting scenes are really great ( almost everything is top-notch about this book). Oh and don’t make the mc too OP pls. Please take my comment as construcive critiscism :) I do think that your story has great potential, keep up with the good work!

The_Founder:is this a story about a assassin turned sword cultivator....cause wouldn't he be using knives or poison as an assassin?

Salty_Chicken:You should remove the system tag the story Is great but that tag turn some people away and so far i dont see any system cheats so its fine the cultivation systems dont count as it applys to everyone.

the_fallen:A power couple for sure. but that will show up deep into the story. not the early stages 😁