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BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv153yr
2021-07-20 00:11

At chapter 13 so far their are few faults but the faults I would say are major 1 no map for readers reference 2 mc is a Lord yet is too reliant upon his guests help 3 his constant asking about welfare of the girl who isnt a girl but 19 year old woman(not clear) every chapter every 4 or 5 paragraphs he asks how she was. If she was getting better then why would he think to ask after an hour or 2 at most again 4 due to no map not clear layout 5 not clear if mc is a reincarnator or not

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BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

2 every issue he has had he hasn't tried to solve but has let her solve every single one

BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

3 their was one chapter that was every 2nd or 3rd paragraph that mc was like Is she doing better l, yes, ok Is she eating yes OK Is she talking yes ok Is she doing better Not a day had passed got bothersome

BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

Currently dropping due to no map illustrating locations

Darkwood
DarkwoodAuthor

Your 1st and 4th points are the same, no map. And having a map takes time and/or money to make. Something that has been partially solved already since it has been a long time since I wrote chapter 13. There is a map in the discord and on the kofi page that I link to at the end of every chapter. Your 2nd point is a fair critique assuming that I intended to make an infallible character not someone who had literally just inherited his land on chapter 1, he will be reliant on those around him. If it is the matter of them being guests that you are critiquing then I can only say we have a difference of opinion on what a flaw is. Your 5th point should not even be a point at all if you have read even the synopsis of the story. No, he is not.

BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

Point 1 and 4 aren't the same yes no map but if you use words correctly the reader can still get an idea of the layout of the territory etc

Darkwood:Your 1st and 4th points are the same, no map. And having a map takes time and/or money to make. Something that has been partially solved already since it has been a long time since I wrote chapter 13. There is a map in the discord and on the kofi page that I link to at the end of every chapter. Your 2nd point is a fair critique assuming that I intended to make an infallible character not someone who had literally just inherited his land on chapter 1, he will be reliant on those around him. If it is the matter of them being guests that you are critiquing then I can only say we have a difference of opinion on what a flaw is. Your 5th point should not even be a point at all if you have read even the synopsis of the story. No, he is not.
BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

2 he barley kept her doesn't know if she has hidden intentions but still uses her could have had a loyal assistant instead while she proves her intentions What happens when she leaves since he is so reliant upon her

Darkwood:Your 1st and 4th points are the same, no map. And having a map takes time and/or money to make. Something that has been partially solved already since it has been a long time since I wrote chapter 13. There is a map in the discord and on the kofi page that I link to at the end of every chapter. Your 2nd point is a fair critique assuming that I intended to make an infallible character not someone who had literally just inherited his land on chapter 1, he will be reliant on those around him. If it is the matter of them being guests that you are critiquing then I can only say we have a difference of opinion on what a flaw is. Your 5th point should not even be a point at all if you have read even the synopsis of the story. No, he is not.
BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

Majority of the novels of mc becoming a Lord they are reincarnated and use certain knowledge for betterment of their territory for example one or more of the following Advanced Weapons (trebuchets ) Alcohol (earn money) Building techniques (better stronger cheaper Teaching ( maths reading writing how it effects society) Boats ( variations) Games ( entertainment mainly in winters, earn money ) Military (modern training techniques) That's why I kept asking if mc is reincarnated

Darkwood:Your 1st and 4th points are the same, no map. And having a map takes time and/or money to make. Something that has been partially solved already since it has been a long time since I wrote chapter 13. There is a map in the discord and on the kofi page that I link to at the end of every chapter. Your 2nd point is a fair critique assuming that I intended to make an infallible character not someone who had literally just inherited his land on chapter 1, he will be reliant on those around him. If it is the matter of them being guests that you are critiquing then I can only say we have a difference of opinion on what a flaw is. Your 5th point should not even be a point at all if you have read even the synopsis of the story. No, he is not.
BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

I found it very confusing

BrianG9677:Point 1 and 4 aren't the same yes no map but if you use words correctly the reader can still get an idea of the layout of the territory etc
BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

Knows not kept

BrianG9677:2 he barley kept her doesn't know if she has hidden intentions but still uses her could have had a loyal assistant instead while she proves her intentions What happens when she leaves since he is so reliant upon her
BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

It allows for comparison writing (mc compares what is now to what was in old world) It allows for something outlandish for the mc to seem normal Expansion on text and content Easier to continue the story or explain a conflict One novel I read mc was beside the sea and mountains, so made a chanel for sea water to enter, making hidden salt farms Excess salt he sold Can easily cause conflict Also used resources to make glass, said recipe he put on auction causing a major conflict for powerful parties at least 2 of which where about to attack him so while they fraught over this technology he used his power to develop a strong army to protect and expand his territory from outsiders

BrianG9677:Majority of the novels of mc becoming a Lord they are reincarnated and use certain knowledge for betterment of their territory for example one or more of the following Advanced Weapons (trebuchets ) Alcohol (earn money) Building techniques (better stronger cheaper Teaching ( maths reading writing how it effects society) Boats ( variations) Games ( entertainment mainly in winters, earn money ) Military (modern training techniques) That's why I kept asking if mc is reincarnated
PkFinal
PkFinalLv15

i don't think I have someone get so combative with an author for writing a storyline that would be era relevant. Author's story, author writes what they want. Go read some more reincarnation/transmigration/Isekai novels if you don't like. it's rather difficult to find an era set piece that isn't dragged through the harem/system/new life/ and over all unnecessary troupe. And it's free... so I do thank the author for this nice breathe of fresh air.

BrianG9677:It allows for comparison writing (mc compares what is now to what was in old world) It allows for something outlandish for the mc to seem normal Expansion on text and content Easier to continue the story or explain a conflict One novel I read mc was beside the sea and mountains, so made a chanel for sea water to enter, making hidden salt farms Excess salt he sold Can easily cause conflict Also used resources to make glass, said recipe he put on auction causing a major conflict for powerful parties at least 2 of which where about to attack him so while they fraught over this technology he used his power to develop a strong army to protect and expand his territory from outsiders
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