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MistressUnderworld
MistressUnderworldLv24yr
2020-10-21 23:01

The descriptions and narration are pretty well done. Some minor spelling or grammar errors, but nothing major. I would like to see what the characters can offer. Keep up the good work!

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AuHNG
AuHNGLv4

Disclaimer: I only write negative reviews, because I think it's not helpful to write what went well. The stars will reflect my opinion on the novel. Advice; flesh out the companies a bit more. It's just generic company here, and somehow all the people in the story are successful. Download gram marly to catch minor grammar or punctuation errors. You have a lot of those. I think the romance is too fast paced. Remember that while we feel initial butterflies, what makes us love someone are little things like how they are focused on something, their unique quirks and their likes. For now, all I get from the romance is: Alexander finds Eve hot. Eve becomes dumb in the presence of Alexander. Oliver likes Clara. Clara is innocent bird that is getting abused. I think it'll be better if you made the love a lot more meaningful. I won't say that there aren't cute moments that do show love, but as of right now, I think the love could be a lot deeper. For example, there's this novel called When The Butterflies Came, that I loved. The leads fall in love because they have fun times together. Quality time- that and working together and helping each other, are two of the main qualities for a successful relationship. (along with trust and honesty). The villains (I'm assuming) are neither pitifully evil nor good. I can't say I hate or dislike them and that's ok. But a good villain needs to be hated a lot, or sympathized a lot. Morally grey characters are good, but not morally boring characters. That and as of now, I thought the plot would be more intriguing. Will write a better review if you can address these concerns. The beginning had a lot of potential, but the drama of this novel is subpar to some of the telenovelas and dramas I have watched. Develop the drama of this novel a bit more. Had a lot of potential which is why I read to chapter 30. But this novel needs work.

XtenX
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