Review Detail of tuba_san in WORLD OF WARGROUNDS

(for full disclosure I have only read up to chapter 9) The plot is very unique. Initially it shows a completely different setting, then the setting shifts completely and there is kind of a murder mystery. The author is very ambitious in their development and general progression and I guess if you do read it you will be interested due to the change in setting and stuff. The build up isn't one of the strongest aspects tho. Everything just sort of happens. Except for the sudden twist which was very well-timed, the rest of the things are a bit like coincidence after coincidence for me. I think several parts are too rushed. I think it would be nice if there were more details about the game world itself. Especially since it's VR. Like world building sort of stuff. I found that aspect a bit lacking personally. The grammar is good for the most part, but there are some errors in the writing. They don't cause an isuse in reading (but lately I've just been staring at sentences in my own novel and have become very sensitive to finding issues in everything, so I might have been looking too closely) Since the story starts with a competition right off the bat, it's not easy to know the actual effects of many of the actions being performed. The author tries to introduce all the characters, moves and other details simultaneously. And this is not only an information overload but many of the ongoing events and actions are neglected because of this. I'll give an example: in the second chapter RHC Pepper only said (?) the name of her move 'Lava Embrace' but the reader doesn't know what that means. This isn't just an issue with her move, the effects of many moves aren't described clearly. Instead there are more points when it is described what the move looks like in the game. As the novel progresses and the new game is being explored the author tries to focus on describing not only the looks but also the effect. But that doesn't change the fact that in the first three chapters any new reader goes through, these problems are present. Some overcritical comments from me because I like more realistic things: there are several parts where I think everything is too rushed. Like the part where MC tries to leave the competition, why don't the remaining four players continue playing? He wants to leave, let him. But why do the others stop. Although MC knew something was off through an unusual necklace, how did the organizers know what had happened, because he was there when his parent's bodies were recovered. And before identifying the dead people who would have told the organizers? If the organizers were behind the accident shouldn't they at least hide that, instead of publicly announcing it? What kind of console is it that his conciousness can be sent into it? Like its just something that can be worn on the head and bam you're in a new world (ik SAO had this but that anime is like an abomination to me) Especially because out MC can smell blood and whatnot in the VR. If you've ever heard about the machine which could stimulate flavors (I forgot what it is called) you would know that they have to place an electrode/a device on their toungue for it to do that. A VR helmet can't just give you the ability to smell stuff in game. Even for the conciousness of the body to be transferred, the whole body needs to be taken into consideration. Just a helmet isn't enough. The sudden closeness between Aildrin and his landlady is just ????? for me Also its weird to me that there is a competitive gaming side to a VR game that has like gameplay that involves being in cities, defending your land, creating a guild, and all that sort of stuff, and is based off of another game that honestly wasn't explained in detail.