I will be honest and I am here to make improvements for your novel. Some dialogues has no name on who said it....and her action or feelings while saying it. It was hard at first when you write about the tenses. It was inconsistent and you need to choose one. Present tenses were more alluring to hear and past tenses were more used by matured writers. It was on you what to choose. And for more further improvements, please read more novels of expert writers of the same genre and learn from them. How to write dialogues, synopsis and everything. Please do the same to my book Waking Up In Undead World. See you later!
therealSkywolf202
Liked by 2 people
LIKEYou have potential! Don't be down but improve more! I can sugar coat some reviews but when I felt concerned, then I will review for the improvements! Have a nice day!
therealSkywolf202:thanks for the honesty. I'll work on it for future reference