Sup! Came over from the Naruto FF with za Immortal Yami. I have some pretty high expectations for a ruthless mc though I wouldn't mind a different scenario. Welp, I have high expectations so I'ma give it a read. P.S. I'll do a proper review after maybe 10 chaps? I'll probably forget to do that though 😂

Reading this just feels like the whole story is pointless. The MC is an overpowered psychopath that has no feelings and gets everything he wants without struggle. All of the good stories have a goal that drives the MC forward and gives him strengh to overcome the obstacles, and there’s no such thing here. He wants power, but why? He doesn’t seem to care about anything, there’s no romance, he doesn’t have friends, no family, it doesn’t matter who lives or dies. Overall, the MC just feels empty, like he’s not even a person, and this is so boring to read. Then the author uses the excuse of being “evil” to justify the MC’s lack of personality... I like evil characters, and I love to read things from the villain’s perspective, but this was not the case here. There’s no character development, he’s just a bland character without emotions. Enough about the MC, now let’s talk a bit about the story itself. It’s clear that the author has a lot of knowledge about Hunter x Hunter, the grammar is good, and these are definitely good points in any fanfiction. The abilities he came up for the MC are very original and it made a cool image in my head. The pace is definitely a problem... It starts slow, then we have massive timeskip and suddenly the MC abused the hell out of his ability and he’s now the strongest being on the continent. Like, wtf? I almost dropped it there. I understand that some people find “training arcs” boring, and it must be even worse to write one, but this is simply ridiculous. It feels like he didn’t even have to work for it. Now the MC is extremely overpowered, more powerful than any character in the anime/manga, and the only “goal” he has is to get even more powerful... All the action we got so far is he beating people that are a thousand times weaker than himself. There’s no one who can challenge or be a threat to him. And this is not fun to read at all. Author, all of this is simply my opinion, and I believe that constructive criticism is the key to improve at everything we do. I’ve read your Naruto story too, and if I were to review it, my feedback would be basically the same.

Grammar: 4.69 Uploading Speed: 5 Story Development: 5 Character Design: 5 World Background: 5 Uploading Speed and World Background I don't think I really have to explain these two. The uploading Speed is relatively stable at 1 chap/day. The world background is pretty self explanatory, Hunter x Hunter. Though I do want to praise the author for adding the "valley of death", an imaginary place that did not exist in canon. It was smoothly integrated into the story which I like. Grammar The grammar is pretty "bormal", meaning it's pretty good, so I have no problems there. The Author just tends to be lazy from time to time... Like a "bormal" person. Story Development I think the story development is pretty good, the pacing is neither too fast that the readers can't catch up nor too slow that the readers get bored in 5 seconds. The increase/decrease in strength of the MC seems pretty logical and well thought out (to me at least). Character Design Ohh~ Now we are getting to the part I like. The main character is smart which is proven by how he is in college at the mere age of 15. The main character doesn't show much of a "bond" with his parents which is giving me Yami vibes and apparently also has a large junk COUGH* COUGH* Kona... He is also pretty ruthless which is shown by how he kills some hunters with no hesitation for the continuation of science! (lol no, he was just experimenting)Overall, I am getting Yami vibes so I like it. Personal Thoughts Although it is quite a pity the mc doesn't have much talent for nen as a child, I like how the MC opened up a path for himself to get stronger exponentially. The "system" ability is pretty broken but it also has its own limitations which I do think will lead to him losing a limb one day. Alluka is apparently a guy so my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. Lastly, BEGONE YOU COMPUTER SIMPS!

The Hunter X Hunter background information is good, but I have to be honest, the writing and grammar is not. Increases in power for the MC are not incremental, and a bit too sudden. There's not really much happening story-wise, and the pacing is pretty strange... There's nothing that really invests me in the character that is the MC, and the only reason I would have any care for the rest of the characters in this is because I have seen the anime. Not the worst... but I do definitely believe this could use a rewrite.

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Reveal spoiler

I hope he is as ruthless as Yami, there are no good Hunter X Hunter fan-fics. Will you continue to post chapters of this like, Dream to immortality or will I have to join your patreon?

Garbage garbage garbage. So bad it doesn't even deserve an review. Awakens nen at 3 years old by doing absolutely nothing. next sentences: I don't have much talent. :( Author is a braindead moron.

Not much to say, the story premise looks promising and if this one is anything like your previous fic... Then this is going to be within the top ten very soon. Good Luck.