"Memories Like a Dagger" is an exciting fantasy-action novel, with a unique presentation of its characters. Much like the prologue, the MC, Kalani, is confronted with two sides of himself and is plagued with contrasting memories. This bout of mystery and intrigue is surely to keep you reading on your seats. Points to consider: -Grammar: Although it's definitely better than most, it's not perfect, but it's getting there. I've placed a few comments here and there so it could get better. -General Storytelling: Some areas can get a bit dragging, but I believe it's a matter of preference of the readers. Also, the mood of the stories can change abruptly, so be careful of that. Great points: -Frankly, it's an incredibly interesting read. I can sense great potential the longer it goes, so this will surely have a place on my library. The author has done a great job with the plot and characterization, and even the newly introduced characters are interesting as well. To conclude, it's a really great story that makes you want to read more. I'm looking forward to more chapters! -
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LIKESorry for the late reply! I think it's a matter of preference really. But if I should say something, it's in the little things. I personally like the long descriptions, and I write like that too but a friend of mine once told me that he preferred it to be straight to the point. But anyway, I like how it is now, so it really depends on your readers.
I believe that is one good way to do it! Scattering them around can make sure it's not too much at once too. But, it's totally ok to have long descriptions especially if a new character/setting comes up. I guess it depends rlly on the situation involved.