Item: Doomsday Survival System
Rating: 4.8
Author: Nicole_99

Nicole_99Lv124yr

2020-08-22 18:23

There were minor punctuation and spelling errors here and there. Plotwise, the story is intriguing and fascinating. I love how you portrayed the MC as a character who prioritises his family's safety above himself. I hope he manages to survive and somehow protect those he holds dear in those trying time. *For punctuations, if you have already used "...?!" then there isn't much need to put a comma behind the sentence unless its a phrase or dialog. There were some errors as well where you used "your" instead of "you're". You're basically means you are... or something while your is used to symbolise something belongs to you. Same goes with the word "his" and "he's" that you wanted to use. This are just pointers for you, because I really enjoyed the story.

Doomsday Survival System

Rankuza

4.8

32 Chs

Liked by 1 people

Replies1

RankuzaAuthor

Thank you so much for the honest review, I will focus on improving. I hope you continue to enjoy my story.😊

4yr

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It have an interesting start, really made me intrigued. I love the sound effects, like I can imagine the sounds in my mind. The chapters are decent long, will not make you bored. Keep up the good work author !👍👍

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Eggy_does_writingLv2

System/game stories are not my thing but this was pretty good! Sage is a very relatable character that the audience can easily sympathize with. I like how the author describes actions in this story. The part I didn't like was when the author would put text in [* I don't mind sound effects or noises being written like that but sometimes the author would write stuff like [*busy*]. It doesn't make sense to me and there were also a few grammatical issues. However, the rest of the story was pretty good!

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RankuzaAuthor

Hello, author here! I have shamelessly given myself a five-star review because I promise you readers won't regret it when you read. So please stick around and read the chapters to better understand the story. Don't forget to please leave comments and reviews, to clearly state your opinions thank you in advance. I will try my best to improve and work harder to keep you readers entertained.(⌒▽⌒)☆

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ShininCrazyDiamondLv2

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