Review Detail of bibiyenini in You're DEAD!

Hey, this story is good! Admit it or not, in the world full of darkness, there are creatures who wander around like vampires. First things first, the story has an impact on me in the first chapter. But something catches my eye between the lines, the - *thuds*, I recommend using descriptions to make it more formal. Also for the readers to not be uncomfortable when reading the sentences. Thus, overall your story is great, it really has potential in WN, might as well post in on other sites for it to be discovered in larger platforms. Good luck with your story!