webnovel
Traps_Are_Gay
Traps_Are_GayLv143yr
2021-10-12 02:36

Writing Quality 3* Not the best but definitely above the webnovel average; readable. Story Development 2* Seems like it's not GoT/ASOIAF are he mc trusts everyone and goes around telling secrets. Character Design 2* the author trust to make him seem manipulative but from all his stupid decisions we can tell he's just naive and foolishly trusting (in his miniscule abilities). Updating Stability 1* if you're here to read consistently just leave the updates were slow a year ago and they're still slow. World Background 2* This author has made the same mistake as most fanfiction authors would. Simply because it's a story that already exist doesn't mean you don't describe this in detail; geography, world powers, territories, culture. (not to mention the works been done for you just head to the wiki) Overall 2.0* However minus 1* Reason: mc tells random that he's from another world for absolutely no reason it's the reason I dropped. New Overall 1* Tips for improvement: Grammar has minimal mistakes, describe the world more it's very important, your character is the type i hate 2nd most the kind who THINKS that they're smart, The pace of the story is too slow when compared to his strength either speed the pace or nerf him both are kinds impossible at this point, Update more and do it consistently.

Liked by 26 people

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Replies5
Daichi_TBR193
Daichi_TBR193Author

Thanks for reading my story and sorry for disappointing you.

KasiCair
KasiCairLv1

The biggest problem of this story for me is the age of the MC. You have 6yo kid screwing women left and right. Sure, he might look older but still! Kinda pedophilic of you, Author. I would understand if he was above 10 at the very least. It would make the story a tad more believable. This, however, is just ridiculous.

Daichi_TBR193:Thanks for reading my story and sorry for disappointing you.
KasiCair
KasiCairLv1

But that's just my opinion :D. I am not really rating your fanfic or anything and I didn't make my own review because I would probably be a bit too biased. I enjoyed most the story but the protagonist's age was ruining it for me every time it was mentioned. It is one thing to imagine the protagonist looking like 12 yo and quite another knowing 5yo is doing all these ridiculous things.

KasiCair:The biggest problem of this story for me is the age of the MC. You have 6yo kid screwing women left and right. Sure, he might look older but still! Kinda pedophilic of you, Author. I would understand if he was above 10 at the very least. It would make the story a tad more believable. This, however, is just ridiculous.
Daichi_TBR193
Daichi_TBR193Author

I’m sorry to hear that 😓 It’s probably my eagerness to have him contributing in the Greyjoy rebellion that led to have like this. But I also thought that Gamers starting from birth are just too OP.

KasiCair:The biggest problem of this story for me is the age of the MC. You have 6yo kid screwing women left and right. Sure, he might look older but still! Kinda pedophilic of you, Author. I would understand if he was above 10 at the very least. It would make the story a tad more believable. This, however, is just ridiculous.
Daichi_TBR193
Daichi_TBR193Author

I understand

KasiCair:But that's just my opinion :D. I am not really rating your fanfic or anything and I didn't make my own review because I would probably be a bit too biased. I enjoyed most the story but the protagonist's age was ruining it for me every time it was mentioned. It is one thing to imagine the protagonist looking like 12 yo and quite another knowing 5yo is doing all these ridiculous things.
Other Reviews
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4

a long chp, decent eng and structure and a common yet uncommon concept..nice. Prince GOT SI suggestions....dont bring modern technology like gun powder and ****,,,,,,, use technology from the ancient greeks, romans, Egyptians and ****.....use roman cement, that **** is apparently very very durable. Their tactics, Farming, Roads are also good...mandatory to join army or some****. Also metal alloys, to create durable cheap ****. Use runes and carve em onto people and control em with mind [like pain did with magic eye's]...through this make em travel world and MC can build a business using em as an head else where? And he can do this whilst he young cause he isnt going anywhere....I dont think anyone in GOT would allow a child to build business or travel..I realize this is a bit extreme but MC is SI with system... If magic, give it but dont make it common, make it rare, and make MC a warg,,,use insect and birds for advantage......also do u know a manga called' mujang '?, if u do u could use their ' power ' as a power base here, [its normal nothing too un realistic.]...something like Ki but not too unrealistic. Also lions...lion tamer Make MC smart and intelligent,,,dont make him a happy naive retard. Make him like chaotic neutral or just neutral...kind and nice but not a naive hero idiot. Use religion for brain wash and loyalty of public Any relationships just build, dont make MC a pervert and his lover useless sluts, Make em help MC and **** u know. Theres a new GOT SI FF thats very popular and its nice, very nice. BUT its stupid how MC wants to get lover's attention and there no reason for him to [other than political marriage, but in time useless considering MC power] , she is portrayed as extremely useless, avoid this. My point is this, any love interest, make her smart and intelligent u know,,,give a desirable trait other than looking good. **: if lovers moms or wives, could ya warn? not my taste,,,I;d say avoid but it is ur bk

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