Freaking Venya! Why are you attacking Selena just because you didn't get Orion! Unreasonable! Very preposterous! Also, at this point, the prince and the queen are plain mean. Their actions against Selena are somehow explainable because of their insecurity. After all, Selena has the power to overthrow them! With the petty abuse that she's getting, I hope that Selena will take them more calmly. Do not indulge other people's provocations. I want her to be someone who would not care about the opinions thrown at her, but her actions would speak for herself. Most of the characters are highly aggressive, probably for the reason that it's such a competitive setting. Maybe it's because there are only 7 chapters, but the world has not been built yet. I'm hoping to see how this kingdom works, it's norms, and sceneries. Also the magic system and how the elements correspond to it. Selena's entire background was narrated in the first two chapters, so for me, it's just kind of too much of a reveal? Since her reason for revenge was already divulged, it leaves no room for mystery. I was coveting for her past to be slowly unveiled throughout the whole novel, to give justice for her vengeance. Though it's just my preferences, please don't mind me :> There are a myriad of misuse/absence/unnecessary use of punctuation marks which will eventually lead to run-ons/comma splices. There are also some mistakes regarding modifiers, incorrect verb tenses, articles and pronouns. I pointed these mistakes out to let you know that your work could even look more beautiful. As for the pacing, I found it a tad hasty after the two chapters about Selena's background. It's might be because of the lack of dialogues in the first two while the rest are riddled with dialogues. Overall, Miyuu, you're a good writer and you will only improve further. This is a story that you've written with you straightforward writing style and it's very endearing. I'll be supporting you! (Sorry for my bad review :< )
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Can u PLEASE read and review my stories Spiderweb and PeaceMaker? I just read your review and I think I need an honest review like you XD! Pls attack my story freely, I will learn from the points you make!
Oh sure, just give me some time cause I still have around 10 novels to review, but I will get to you soon! Meanwhile, if you have some time, you can read my novels. Just read it, I don't need other things. ^^ Thank you.
Thank you for your review. I will try to improve
THANK YOUUU! Pls tell me when u start!
