Writing quality is bad, very simple sentences with a good amount of mistakes. I am unable to even care about the story as every sentence is hurting my brain while trying to correct it.
Liked by 6 people
LIKEStory seems interesting enough. Maybe get someone to read over your writing? You have a fair number of typos, those are not too bad though. Your use of tenses if very good and consistent. Your use of punctuation is sometimes off and most of those times you overuse them. Sometimes your sentences are missing a verb, to which multiple words are building up to, only to be left. (hanging) Every now and again you are missing or switching up filler words like a/an or the. I might be a bit naggy about all of this and writing a story clearly is not an easy endeavour. The reason why I was a bit mad about this is because it was a nice story that I could not delve into, because the grammar errors kept pulling me out of the immersion. I am refering with that critic only to the earlier chapters, you might have improved already upon all of this. If so, maybe revisit atleast the first five chapters, so that you can draw in more new readers. Best whishes and have a nice day.
Eternal_Demon:Thanks for the review. I hope you will find the story of your liking.