webnovel
Sai_Das
Sai_DasLv104yr
2020-08-01 15:51

Writing quality and grammar are great, minor mistakes that I don’t pay much attention to. Updates are good so far, hope you can keep it up. The story development I think is the best so far, it’s an interesting way to start the story! Especially the way his system works! I haven’t personally read anything that similar. Love how he isn’t getting super op by randomly eating a fruit and how much effort he puts in. Since the tags have no “tragedy” or anything of the sort you may want to speed up his growth since I’m assuming he’s going to start adventuring soon, and it wouldn’t be that nice to have his ass handed to him more often than not. For character design I think you’ve built up his character ok, but maybe more input on his thought process and his emotional perspective. Hopefully he can stick with the merchant path with all the years he’s been at it and not become forced to turn to piracy later. Got whatever reasons. I don’t know how much I can say about world background because I’ve read one piece and this is a fanfic so it’s easy to refer to previous knowledge I have. At least you’ve described his village and some surroundings? Also don’t know what to do to improve this aspect. Sorry! Anyways I’ve enjoyed the story so far and since I like where the story seems to be going I tried to share my views. Good luck and keep it up!!

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Replies3
I_Am_Immortal
I_Am_ImmortalAuthor

Thanks for the advice.

AmarHazlin
AmarHazlinLv4

Bro can you suggest any one piece ff.. cause im running out of book to read. Hahaha thanks

Melshan
MelshanLv7

The MC will have a girlfriend/wife?

I_Am_Immortal:Thanks for the advice.
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