Item: Isabella's Magical Space
Rating: 3.2
Author: Shadowofdeat

ShadowofdeatLv133yr

2021-12-03 04:32

I like the story and would love to read more, however, there needs to be work done on the grammar and character design. The story is good, overall. I don't know if this was the writer's intention or not but the MC is leaning heavily towards being a Mary-Sue. Which, while I don't mind it, it IS annoying that she knows there is trouble and literally WALKS IN AND BACK OUT OF IT WITHOUT PROBLEMS! Okay, the evil girl makes very clear signs about her plans but COME ON! Can't they at least be a bit more secretive and difficult to handle for the MC? Is that too much to ask? I also find it annoying how you write the male lead off as cold and distant in the beginning but the moment he meets her (love at first sight and whatnot) he is all over her and completely changes into a charming, happy man with barely a single sign that he is a germaphobe. Can you please write out his personality clearer? Is he a cold and distant man or a warm-hearted one? Also make sure the MC has FLAWS! The fact that she learns things without showing (or at least not to my knowledge) any trouble makes it hard to see her as a person and more as a robot that learns and quickly adapts to everything. How about you show some limits? Show that she's not an emotional robot that can quickly fit in with any problem (just like her best friend for that matter). Her best friend is also like that; any girl that was almost assaulted would be upset yet she laughs it off as a mere joke. BE. SERIOUS. Don't let them laugh off difficult life problems as if it's nothing. Losing your life can be traumatic (in my opinion) and being assaulted even more. Try to give more depth to the characters, give us more details about them. And for bloody he*l's sake don't turn every couple in a Love-at-first-sight romance. It's old and VERY unrealistic. Other than that, it's good. Try to work around those points and you'll do just fine. [img=recommend]

Isabella's Magical Space

Oppo_Red

4.3

68 Chs

Liked by 2 people

Replies2

Selida_RayfordLv4

I think that the story is fine the way it is. I don't see what your problem with the story is .

3yr

ShadowofdeatLv13

Mainly the grammar is the problem and that there is not enough difficulty for mc. Every story has problems for an mc but hers are barely there. It’s fine that she stays calm in situations but the problems are never too much for her. How is life challenging for her when there is little to no problem? Don’t get me wrong, I love the story and all but I would like to see others helping her when she actually NEEDS it. Not just for building materials or their connections to the higher ups. In real life everybody asks for help at least once in their life. A moment when they are in over their head, but she doesn’t. For example: the mc can’t swim in normal situations you learn how to swim from others slowly but this mc gets someone to teach her and after observing their swimming style, tries it out and poof! She knows how to swim as if she has always been able to. There are no flaws or struggles, she just learns and masters it in one go. It’s THAT that I’m talking about. When a kid learns to read for the first time you don’t see them read an entire harry potter book out loud with no problems immediately afterwards. They struggle, they make mistakes, the mc doesn’t. Anyways I’m just giving advice, nothing more. It would be a lot more fun to read if she would be forced to rely on her hubby once in a while. It feels a bit as if he is sometimes pushed to the background.

Selida_Rayford:I think that the story is fine the way it is. I don't see what your problem with the story is .

3yr

Other Reviews

rozle12Lv1

This novel is truly engaging leaving its readers to look forward to the next chapter. Although a little fast-paced in the beginning, the writer was able to arouse curiosity wanting to discover more about the secrets and lies that surrounded the past of Isabella. I recommend to read Isabella’s Magical Space to have a glimpse of the writer’s broad imagination that will lead you through an exciting journey. A must read definitely! ❤️

4yr

MaLoRey11Lv13

Its a good story and i like it..... 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

4yr

DaoistGU284aLv1

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😄😍😄😄😄😄😄😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😄😄😄😍😍😆😆😆 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

4yr

ParkcityLv14

I like stories that involve dimensional pocket spaces. This story has a good pace though sometimes details are lost. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

4yr

Roselle_Garcia_8221Lv1

It is an amazing beginning for an ******* author and i am hooked already by this novel. Congrats and looking forward for more chapters and novels to come.

4yr

BrianG9677Lv15

Dropped at chapter 3 for following reasons 1 grammar is awfull 2 attempts at creating conspiracies within MCs back story is fucking pointless 3 instead of Having MC remember numbers from a lottery ticket just gives her 5 billion dollars for preparation 4 the lawyer who is giving her the mothers will, with assets within the billions would have teams of lawyers not a singular one, and it need to at least be signed for or it would be followed up by some government it wouldn't be possible for it to go to in-laws 5 petty excuse for no father in her life, even worse excuse for mother Chapter 1 was average to great your story went to shit moment you deviated from preparing for apocalypse

4yr

H34v3nly60DT3chLv1

Reveal spoiler

4yr

not_a_gooseLv2

I am really looking forward to seeing where this wonderful story will go. The fist 60 something chapters are a little fast paced, but not so much that it is confusing or off putting. This book is right up my alley. It's got a fluffy romance, a rebirth, a magical space, a mysterious disappearance, and an up coming apocalypse. What more do you need??? Except.... More chapters please!!!!

4yr

Noemi_BrendaLv4

More updatesssss! Please !!!!!!!! Quiero ver la reaccion del ex prometido, al averiguar que lo que paso fue planeado por las dos.[img=recommend][img=update]

4yr

Lady_Luna244Lv15

Finally, a book where either of the MC’s smoke. No nasty cigarettes showing up except for occasional (at stressful) times. Good to have a story wEre there isn’t a misunderstanding between the FL and the ML, still drama around them but the deal with it together and on their own. Waiting for updates 🥰🥰🥰🥰

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