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Rabin_Subedi
Rabin_SubediLv34yr
2020-07-07 19:43

Knees weak arms are heavy there is vomit on his sweater already mom's spaghetti he is nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs.

Liked by 8 people

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Replies2
ssdxd
ssdxdLv14

but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down the whole crowd goes so loud he opens his mouth but the words won't come out

SkySight
SkySightLv3

wow you are a legend

Other Reviews
FrightKnight88
FrightKnight88Lv14

Writing Quality 3: Generally good, alot of minor grammar mistakes but it is usually something comprehensible because it will be either just like a simple sentence or a word like envy used instead of envious or guilty instead of blaming(think that's google translates fault). Otherwise sentence structure and flow is good. Things are actually capitalized when they should be and correct punctuation is actually used, so the story doesnt look like it was written by a 5 year old but instead by an ***** learning a new language. Stability of Updating 4: Its not a 5 and quite honestly almost a 3 because I haven't seen a new chapter be posted in a few days. Story Development 4: Almost gave a 3 but I think it's too harsh a review this early in the story. You can clearly tell when time passes and how much time had passed when scenes transition, and right now it seems to be going sort of like the anime just with different interactions happening and with the cast at a higher age. Character Design 4: Just because there's no OC character yet, but it's not lower than 4 because these characters have a placed established in my mind either from the anime or other fanfics. World Background 5: basically everything you know from the games and the anime, but author introduced a few details I am not aware of that I didnt know beforehand but they might be original details because I've never seen another author give them in their fanfic so I give the author a 5 for initiative and possible originality here. All in all, don't go in expecting a great read or god like use of the english language but don't go in thinking the story is gonna be **** because it's not so far, it's just kind of average is all.

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