webnovel
Jlairu
JlairuLv114yr
2020-08-22 15:44

They're minor mistakes here and there. Plain, dry, boring dialogue and story telling. The plot is driven by quests, sure it's a game world whatever but everything is just unrealistic, even in games you're not always going from one quest to the next and can actually go out and explore. Shouldn't he be exploring if he wanted to find that girl? All he's doing is playing his life like a game. World background... game world thats it. Character design... everyone's an NPC and the MC doesn't have thoughts or feelings. Read if you want there's stable enough updates.

Supreme Lunar Knight

Billy_Castellanos
4.4
20 Chs

Liked by 3 people

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Replies2
Jlairu
JlairuLv11

Admittedly I was pretty generous while rating this. The story can change after all.

4yr
3
Billy_Castellanos
Billy_CastellanosAuthor

Thank you!! I admit that "QUEST" thing really restrict my idea :( I just still continuing the story because nobody ever complaint. I thought it was okay, but i realized it was completely wrong after i read your review. I planned to rewrite this whole story. Thank you my friend For the beautiful honest review <3

4yr
1
Other Reviews
Billy_Castellanos
Billy_CastellanosAuthor

Thank you for those who read my work. Please be expected that there will be alot of grammar mistakes because i'm not english native speaker. English can be considered as my 3rd language.But don't worry, I'm working hard to improve as the chapter goes ^U^

4yr

skywalk3r
skywalk3rLv3

The idea of the story is quite good. but many grammatical errors like a man becomes her and many others. Word per chap needs more juice especially novels like this that mention status and item description so work hard thor. I think you should focus on one story then write multiple ones if you think this story is progressing well. Don't worry, I'll be back when more chapters are available. Keep the good work and happy writing. :) Thanks

4yr
Tee_hee
Tee_heeLv4

perfect world top player hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha lmao never expected to see this i love that game and still play it... i am the top sb/ea

4yr
Asmur
AsmurLv1

Reveal spoiler

4yr
Replusion
ReplusionLv10

Reveal spoiler

4yr
nanda_prima
nanda_primaLv1

Halo kak! Aku yang dari group fb webnovel indonesia. Ceritanya sih keliatannya sih menjanjikan ya, walaupun sih kekurangannya cuman di grammarnya.

4yr
Cathooo
CathoooLv2

Reveal spoiler

4yr
Debauchery_Scholar
Debauchery_ScholarLv3

Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love

4yr
LittleKitten
LittleKittenLv2

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4yr
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