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Shisui34
Shisui34Lv143yr
2021-04-17 05:05

I like your story a lot. Has really good mix of reality in the Pokémon world and the game. Some of the writing needs to be cleared up because it was pretty confusing. One example is the fact that red has 2 wives? Makes me wonder if ash will as well? Overall it’s pretty good but it just needs some clarification.

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Devil_Hex
Devil_HexLv5

Review till CHP 37. It's Meh... Pretty much follows the anime route with a bit of backstory added. Ash is shown to be much smarter than in anime and comes up with new moves and strategy. Everyone else is shown to be INCREDIBLY DUMB! So the story basically just revolves around Ash, emphasizing a million times how awesome he is, Misty and Brock keep praising/hyping him 24x7, everyone else is in awe of Ash! Each and every gym leader is incredibly weak. A few months of training his mons and Ash is much stronger than the likes of Lance and Aghata! Some one as incredible as Giovanni is shown to be completely dumb with zero ability to think! Here's a series of move exchanges to show you how dumb someone like Lance is made to look! He was attacked by a steelix (who was at a higher level than his mons). And these are the types of moves he used against steelix - Dragon, Dragon, Rock, Electric and Dragon again! (this was despite him using Charizard to fight)! Everyone else except Ash is so dumb that no one ever thought of putting a healer in their team! Everyone except Ash is so dumb that they can't co-ordinate their own pokemons with one another! Ash acquires another identity (where he disguises using a mask). Now this was a good idea, but what happens if someone asks the Masked Ash who he really was? Ash will just drop his mask, show his true identity to them, and ask them to keep it a secret! At least a few thousand common people know his SECRET identity 🤣🤣🤣 Oh, Kanto army is getting beat? Elite 4 and a champion level trainer can't win the war? No worries, call a 10 year old kid with only a few months of trainer experience, he'll win the war single handedly. Oh, Ash is in a pinch? Walla! His mon evolved due to their bond! Anyways, this review has gone pretty long. Overall very bad story and story writing.

sv6
sv6Lv14
Santosh_Chavan_2723
Santosh_Chavan_2723Lv1
Frorstyflame
FrorstyflameAuthor
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