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Iinchou
IinchouLv52yr
2022-03-13 00:13

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Other Reviews
bondarant
bondarantLv2

I don't have a problem with writing overall it's nice a bit cliche here and there but which fanfic does not have one anyway? Story development is not really what i expected maybe the author is going for a more day-to-day kind of fanfic But one glaring issue i find is the Main Chacter Blake I don't know why the author introduced us to Blake gave him a tragic backstory only to see him make a comeback at the last moment only for everything to not matter because the story is about Jaune Yes You heard me right although there is a decent backstory to Blake he is nothing but a cardboard there to show boring he is in comparison it seems Jaune has been put in more work as a character we see him growing out of his childish naivete becoming stronger and actually facing his problems While Blake is in the background doing whatever i can't say i'm not disappointed in his development and i think i understand to a degree Author wanted MC to have a harem for some reason but interactions came out rather forced and abrupt For example Blake takes a sudden interest in this troubled school-girl and gets pushed away because of her trust issues you'd think he would give her some space and as an actual stranger mind his own business right? No.. He is like a chinese MC here fighting for the damsel in distress trying to get interested to participate in conversations with her why? Because he was interested As i have said too much focus on Jaune to less on Blake his part of the story has not been cultivated well or he himself has not been that he comes across as uninteresting forced and ingeniune in his intentions I don't see the point in making him the MC either way but it's not business Sadly i will be dropping this hopefully in the future Author learns from his mistakes and makes a better fanfic which we can all enjoy

ZerO_Life
ZerO_LifeLv14
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