In my opinion, there is not much point in having an "MC" who has not read the two novels / stories, and who has no idea of the power he has or the world he is in, as the "MC" is now It is known how the story will unfold, the actions of the "MC" become a little predictable, which makes him boring. - More interesting, or better, would have been if the "MC" knew the power he had, and the world he was in, because he could take advantage of several opportunities that would benefit him, I think his actions would not be as predictable, since at Having knowledge, he would develop various plans, which would make his career interesting. - Instead of the third eye granting you an overwhelming power so suddenly and using another type of energy, it would have been better if it was your second martial spirit, having two super quality spirits (the eye and the sword), you would have a innate power of 20 !, their third eye and sword if they had the same abilities (the abilities they have would be their basic characteristics) and the two martial spirits can be used at the same time, but the power they can exercise is minimal by the current power of the MC, and the stronger the "MC" becomes, the more power he can use, until he reaches the "god" rank and the MC is if he is super cheated, in addition to his spirit / soul rings, giving additional abilities to his spirits than they originally have. I think this would have been better, in addition to creating a beautiful jade armor, entitled "Jade Emperor". - I don't know what the author thought, but in my opinion it would have been a better integration of the powers of the "Jade Emperor" in the world of Douluo Dalu as I explained,
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Thanks for the criticism. I'm just starting out, so things may be iffy. I'm not planning on following canon. This is the beginning of the story so these parts of canon will be MC gathering strength. To explain my thoughts, my character didn't know canon Soul Land because I wanted him to mess up canon without being afraid of the consequences. As for not knowing God Of Highschool, I wanted to introduce his powers slowly. Each of the fundamental forces is extremely versatile in their use so I didn't want to dump it all in at once. If I made Sages Wisdom into a martial soul, I would have to add even more abilities via the spirit ring. I don't even know what I can add to Sage's Wisdom. With its abilities, it might as well be able to do everything. As for the different energy, physical energy is stated in the wiki. I just turned it into something like body cultivation. Other than naming and technique mimicry, the only differences are in name. I wanted to give Sage's body to contend against Tang Wulin's insane stats cause of GDK.
Too many novels Are self insert and op from the start this is a refreshing change
well, I just wanted to explain that the "MC" by not having "knowledge", the actions he would take would become predictable, mostly he would follow the original line without realizing it and only making small changes, and doing something stupid most likely. Is it as if you were reading the original story again, I think? - And about giving him the eye with the powers with different energy, where he only has to learn to control the enormous power, he leaves it super easy for the "MC", don't feel organic ?, and as martial souls they were better, he feels more organic and logical ?, and you did not make trouble with the energies, example: would you have the martial souls of the eye and the sword ?, these would have their basic abilities, but they are not powerful because the "MC" is not powerful, the "MC "It becomes strong, the abilities become strong too, the rings that could be integrated, would they be abilities that improve their powers? Or some great ability? An ability could be to see the future? Control the elements? In the end, leaving something like, the eye gives him the power of creation, and his sword that of destruction? I don't know if he explains it well.
IHaveNthToDo:Thanks for the criticism. I'm just starting out, so things may be iffy. I'm not planning on following canon. This is the beginning of the story so these parts of canon will be MC gathering strength. To explain my thoughts, my character didn't know canon Soul Land because I wanted him to mess up canon without being afraid of the consequences. As for not knowing God Of Highschool, I wanted to introduce his powers slowly. Each of the fundamental forces is extremely versatile in their use so I didn't want to dump it all in at once. If I made Sages Wisdom into a martial soul, I would have to add even more abilities via the spirit ring. I don't even know what I can add to Sage's Wisdom. With its abilities, it might as well be able to do everything. As for the different energy, physical energy is stated in the wiki. I just turned it into something like body cultivation. Other than naming and technique mimicry, the only differences are in name. I wanted to give Sage's body to contend against Tang Wulin's insane stats cause of GDK.
If the "MC" doesn't know anything, chances are that he will inadvertently follow the original line adding a few changes and making some stupid things, would the new be just super new powers checked? Feel like you are reading the original story alone. with a few small changes I think. - if "Mc" knew, if there would be big changes !, and it would become more interesting, and it would not feel like you were reading the original novel.
HyperPhoenix:Too many novels Are self insert and op from the start this is a refreshing change
Damn, stop mimimi and read the ****, look on the bright side, at least it's not MC fanfic knowing a fucking plot and hunting women like pokémon
Poor
Zeno:If the "MC" doesn't know anything, chances are that he will inadvertently follow the original line adding a few changes and making some stupid things, would the new be just super new powers checked? Feel like you are reading the original story alone. with a few small changes I think. - if "Mc" knew, if there would be big changes !, and it would become more interesting, and it would not feel like you were reading the original novel.
If everything were on bright side there wouldn't be mention of 'side' word. Please mind that there is also dark side to every actions and 'criticism' is the best way to introduce you to that dark side..
Yeah gotta agree with your review. There is no point in an mc in a FANFiC WORLD!!!! If he doesn’t even know about said world. I mean we have original novels for a reason.
my friend, which chapter are you in now
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Fck I forgot to delete this sh*t I'm in the latest chapter and this one is my favorite
Luiz_David_6374:my friend, which chapter are you in now
Just some retard comments when you are stressed
Luiz_David_6374:my friend, which chapter are you in now
He's just giving the author an honest review and ways to improve this story. Atleast he's not being an asshole about it.
200000000000000011:Damn, stop mimimi and read the ****, look on the bright side, at least it's not MC fanfic knowing a fucking plot and hunting women like pokémon
