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Isah_Maharani
Isah_MaharaniLv24yr
2020-11-01 17:32

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โคโคโคโคโค๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—โคโคโคโค๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›

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Little_Lord
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Oh well, what can I say about this one? It's not necessarily a bad story per se, but it feels lacking in different aspects tbh. I feel sorry because I truly tried to like it, but I simply couldn't continue reading till the end; and even at some point, I lose the interest to comment on further chapters because I simply didn't understand why the story was going towards that direction (I'm not saying this to discourage the author, so I'll hope if u ever read this, you'll take it in a constructive way and keep working on your craft, fighting!). For those who's considering reading this, lemme tell u some things: 1. If u like ancient chinese themed stories like me/ or stories about cultivation/, you'll see that this one has nothing particularly special; and if u haven't read anything of the kind, then I wouldn't reccomend this one to start, simply because it doesn't have a proper world background, and many aspects about cultivation and marcial arts are taking for granted (or explored pretty lightly), so you probably wouldn't be able to get a fulfilling idea of what the world's story is about. That by itself is an issue, because I think it makes the story less enjoyable and with less deep layers to explore. There are tons of scenes in the story focused on cultivation, fighting, etc., but almost none of them were capable of make me feel excited, or understanding the logic behind the fight. A part of me, simply felt that I was just reading without an specific purpose (and I felt the same while reading about the different weapons, books, etc.). 2. For that same reason, since the world background is weak, I feel like the story development got weaker as well. I'm able to understand if the author wouldn't want to put that much attention to the cultivation aspect (but then, why would u choose that setting, uh?) to focus on something else, for example, idk, romance? But in this case you'll see that story is aiming to be one of those Chinese journeys where the MC gets stronger by herself, and in her own way, she meets the ML and so both paths are supposed to develop together until she's solved her own issues and is ready to be by his side and the ML knows everything and is powerful and blabla, however, in this one... u never reach anything of the kind. Nor the romance (I simply wasn't able to take seriously the MC, nor the ML), nor even the cultivation side of the story are developed enough IMO. 3. There is a poor character development and a weak character's desing. The FL is... idk, odd? She's supposed to have all the powerful skills and all her memories and experience of her previous life, but too many times she seems like a lost child. Too innocent for her own good, then too focused on violence when there's really no need, and even her "hate" doesn't feel real. Idk but tbh I don't see many layers on her, and I just basically imagine her like a mere teenager who's just throwing tantrums here and there. At some point MC becomes too OP and too dangerous as well (not just in a good way). Her powers grow stronger non-stop, but her mind (that wasn't very bright since the beginning) seemed to lose a lot if not her whole past self. Idk but a lot of times I simply imagined her as brat who has no morals (even tho she already has two lifes in her account). The ML is supposed to be the overbearing cold type who's kinda abusive/rude/ruthless at the beginning but then he transforms into the pampering/I-only-have-eyes-for-her/my-woman-is-the-strongest type, lol. But I personally just feel him like an emotionally handicaped person who needs several slaps to be trained (I can't even get mad at him, lol). Anyway, tbh I don't feel much about any character in particular, and that's enought to tell what happened in the character design department. Lastly: IMO the whole point about cultivation stories and chinese journeys (that can be related to revenge, love, etc. or not) is to understand the logic behind the marcial practices, the realms, how they get stronger, how they grow (not just physically but also how they mature emotionally) and so, but in this one I wasn't able to feel that. Even if they're OP characters and our MCs get or will get everything at some point (which I don't really mind, again, I think it can be pretty funny), I think there still should be a logic behind those achievements, but here everything felt too rushed and not explored enough. This story has all the clichรฉs about cultivation stories u could ever think (I do think the typical formula can be enjoyable it it's well written) and even added romance in between, but despite that, I wasn't able to connect with it. There are some paragraphs that are weirdly written and some words choices are odd as well that makes u wonder what the author was trying to say. This story definitely required more of writing time and probably a script breakdown. There are a lot of good elements to make a good story there, but I feel like it requieres a lot of editing first. Sorry for not being able to connect with your story, author, but if u release something else I'll def give it a try. Good luck. (:

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