webnovel
hanplum
hanplumLv34yr
2020-11-13 00:22

bad story development MC had high IQ but low EQ. Someone would often help her at the end of the day because of her dumb ness. ML is... it needs improvement. I would consider him a jerk. But he is just autistic. one autistic and one errentric, what happens between them is hilarious.

Liked by 8 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Little_Lord
Little_LordLv14
Ai_Airi
Ai_AiriLv3

Oh well, what can I say about this one? It's not necessarily a bad story per se, but it feels lacking in different aspects tbh. I feel sorry because I truly tried to like it, but I simply couldn't continue reading till the end; and even at some point, I lose the interest to comment on further chapters because I simply didn't understand why the story was going towards that direction (I'm not saying this to discourage the author, so I'll hope if u ever read this, you'll take it in a constructive way and keep working on your craft, fighting!). For those who's considering reading this, lemme tell u some things: 1. If u like ancient chinese themed stories like me/ or stories about cultivation/, you'll see that this one has nothing particularly special; and if u haven't read anything of the kind, then I wouldn't reccomend this one to start, simply because it doesn't have a proper world background, and many aspects about cultivation and marcial arts are taking for granted (or explored pretty lightly), so you probably wouldn't be able to get a fulfilling idea of what the world's story is about. That by itself is an issue, because I think it makes the story less enjoyable and with less deep layers to explore. There are tons of scenes in the story focused on cultivation, fighting, etc., but almost none of them were capable of make me feel excited, or understanding the logic behind the fight. A part of me, simply felt that I was just reading without an specific purpose (and I felt the same while reading about the different weapons, books, etc.). 2. For that same reason, since the world background is weak, I feel like the story development got weaker as well. I'm able to understand if the author wouldn't want to put that much attention to the cultivation aspect (but then, why would u choose that setting, uh?) to focus on something else, for example, idk, romance? But in this case you'll see that story is aiming to be one of those Chinese journeys where the MC gets stronger by herself, and in her own way, she meets the ML and so both paths are supposed to develop together until she's solved her own issues and is ready to be by his side and the ML knows everything and is powerful and blabla, however, in this one... u never reach anything of the kind. Nor the romance (I simply wasn't able to take seriously the MC, nor the ML), nor even the cultivation side of the story are developed enough IMO. 3. There is a poor character development and a weak character's desing. The FL is... idk, odd? She's supposed to have all the powerful skills and all her memories and experience of her previous life, but too many times she seems like a lost child. Too innocent for her own good, then too focused on violence when there's really no need, and even her "hate" doesn't feel real. Idk but tbh I don't see many layers on her, and I just basically imagine her like a mere teenager who's just throwing tantrums here and there. At some point MC becomes too OP and too dangerous as well (not just in a good way). Her powers grow stronger non-stop, but her mind (that wasn't very bright since the beginning) seemed to lose a lot if not her whole past self. Idk but a lot of times I simply imagined her as brat who has no morals (even tho she already has two lifes in her account). The ML is supposed to be the overbearing cold type who's kinda abusive/rude/ruthless at the beginning but then he transforms into the pampering/I-only-have-eyes-for-her/my-woman-is-the-strongest type, lol. But I personally just feel him like an emotionally handicaped person who needs several slaps to be trained (I can't even get mad at him, lol). Anyway, tbh I don't feel much about any character in particular, and that's enought to tell what happened in the character design department. Lastly: IMO the whole point about cultivation stories and chinese journeys (that can be related to revenge, love, etc. or not) is to understand the logic behind the marcial practices, the realms, how they get stronger, how they grow (not just physically but also how they mature emotionally) and so, but in this one I wasn't able to feel that. Even if they're OP characters and our MCs get or will get everything at some point (which I don't really mind, again, I think it can be pretty funny), I think there still should be a logic behind those achievements, but here everything felt too rushed and not explored enough. This story has all the clichés about cultivation stories u could ever think (I do think the typical formula can be enjoyable it it's well written) and even added romance in between, but despite that, I wasn't able to connect with it. There are some paragraphs that are weirdly written and some words choices are odd as well that makes u wonder what the author was trying to say. This story definitely required more of writing time and probably a script breakdown. There are a lot of good elements to make a good story there, but I feel like it requieres a lot of editing first. Sorry for not being able to connect with your story, author, but if u release something else I'll def give it a try. Good luck. (:

Related Stories

Two times rejected Luna, the desire of all Alphas

Valerie, the daughter of the murdered Alpha of the Yellow Stone Pack, could never lead the pack because she had a Luna wolf. Her mate, Tristan, was made the Alpha in her stead. After assuming the title of Alpha, Valerie was set up and brutally rejected, not only by Tristan but also her whole pack, and her kid sister, Scarlet, with whom Tristan had secret affairs. “I reject Luna Valerie as my mate. She was caught in bed with a stranger, meaning that she would sell the pack out. The punishment for treachery is death,” Alpha Tristan announced heartlessly. The chants from the pack members and visiting Alphas who had come for the Alphas' conference attracted them to the judgment. No one thought that Alpha Denzel, whose name caused the hairs on their skin to stand straight due to his ruthlessness, would make it to the conference. Valerie found hope when she realized that Alpha Denzel was her second chance mate, but painstakingly, she was rejected once again. The double rejection caused her to lose her wolf, and she was condemned to die by all the Alphas present. She thought her fate was sealed when Alpha Denzel left and a warrior was ready to execute her. Everyone was shocked when Alpha Denzel suddenly turned around. “Stop! The treacherous daughter of a late Alpha should not be killed. More suffering awaits her,” he declared. Valerie’s heart dropped when she saw his dark look, which was like a bottomless pit, as she blacked out from exhaustion. A few months down the line, there was a war among the Alphas as they began to lay claim to the two-times-rejected Luna. With her wolf dead, will the moon goddess be gracious to give her another wolf? And which Alpha would be able to melt her now cold heart?

Glorious_Eagle · Fantasy
4.7
504 Chs