Review Detail of Snowin in Yudham- The war that trembled all the Planes

Quick Note - I deleted my first review cuz i accidently pressed post in the middle of writing it. Don't worry, this review is the exact same one. Synopsis - Almost a perfect read. It doesn't give too much away, it doesn't spoil anything, and it makes you want to read the story. Exactly how a synopsis should be done. Nice job Grammar: This is what prevented me from giving a five star. (4.8/5) There were a decent amount of noticable grammar mistakes that could've probobly been fixed if you gave it a solid proofread. Most of the mistakes involved the past/present tense being switched up. Not annoying to read, but the main problem was the use of it during your scene description. I could easily see you having an amazing vision in your head and cramming paragraphs on paragrpahs to describe it perfectly. The thing is > you get carried away and put oo much. When you put too much without the proper wording the descriptions seem dull and flat. Also, i don't know if I missed it or not, but i don't think you described any of the characters that were talking. Sure you say prince and princess, but what does that mean? Is the princess wearing a dress? what's her hair like? does she have anything unique about her? how does she feel? does she have an accent maybe? You dont need to add all that but just consider it. Story: Nice. Nothing to critique honestly. It slowly unfolds in the chapters and just makes the reader want to read more. It's a little slow, but picks up quickly the more you read. Rating - 4.8/5 stars Nice job. Keep writing and improving!