Review Detail of _VA_ in The Great Wizard and the Archmage

I would say that this story seems to have a pretty interesting plot although I wasn't able to immerse myself into it. The author should try and make the story a bit clearer so it would be easier to follow. Honestly all that I would critique has already been said by previous commentators. The most pressing point for me is the dialogue. I can tell that the author puts a lot of emphasis on them, which is a positive point; however, too much dialogue is not good. The overflow of dialogue messes up the natural flow of the story and makes the story difficult to follow. In addition, I can't picture the scenes where characters talk back and forth in my head without any descriptions of their body language or changes in their surroundings. I would suggest the author to observe the way actual people speak to each other in real life to improve. Continue writing and good luck author! :)