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Thereader_
Thereader_Lv133yr
2022-04-24 07:55

author I just realised something you can try to improve on or maybe you have in later chapters since in currently at 260+. The sentences or rather the way the characters speak is too formal, sometimes it feels cringy and automated, no one speaks the way they do with so many words, the way to speak and the wordings don't feel natural. I'm very adept at English (even though I know it' may not be your first language) and the conversations feel like I'm reading a Shakespeare book most times. for example in chap 278 when Alex finds out about artemias plan to use him, what he says in reply to her question was honestly just too long with so many unnecessary words in between, it's even worse for artemias reply. You should try making the way they speak more natural, using common informal English lingo and having less words while still passing the message across. Just think about contemporary English (American/British) movies and series and ask your self, if these lines were to be acted out , would they sound off to a listener/watcher or would they sound so smooth it wouldn't even look like acting, would anyone speak this way casually with so many tedious words?. I think that'll help.

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Quartermaster
QuartermasterLv3
MadHatter0_o
MadHatter0_oLv3

This is an interesting novel to write anything about. The reason being, it is one of those novels you either love or hate. There is no middle ground for this one. Also, I want to clear this at the beginning that this is merely my impression of the book till chapter 50, NOT A REVIEW OF THE ENTIRE BOOK. Hence, Anything I say is subjected to change due to character development. Furthermore, as I am not a fan of big fan of the harem genre, it might be slightly biased regarding the harem trope. I apologize if that happens and welcome all types of correction and valid arguments(not the type saying if you don't like it, write your own book). I am pretty sure most of the readers came for this story like me, by looking at the synopsis and the promise it holds. A gun-wielding, magicless MC in a sword and sorcery isekai-world who is aiming for the top is an interesting premise. I like the world and its magic system. It's simple and easy to understand. you get everything you can hope for in a fantasy world, from sword to magic, from elf to demon, and everything in between. The magic system and leveling up are pretty straightforward and without any headache-inducing complexity. In short, the premise and the world itself are pretty solid and familiar. I want to divide the characters between MC and other characters because this particular MC needs some explanation. Other than MC, all other characters are familiar, at least if you have been around anime long enough. I am not saying they are poorly written or anything. Contrary to that they are by the book(except one) and as a result, you just don't see any unique characters. This will change in the future if the author decides to do some heavy-duty character development and some interesting backstory is added. The exception to that is Gracier IMO. I still think her attitude doesn't match her age or backstory and hope to see a major character development soon that will make her act her age. Now, I have a serious love-hate relationship with this MC. I love his demeanor and thought process during combat and hate his interaction with female characters. I would like to request everyone, especially people who aren't accustomed to a harem, not to drop it in chapter 1 when he pops up that knight talk. Things get more normal after that and around chapter 9 you can actually see a bit of character development. However, Till chapter 50 he is extremely dependant on his gun spirit regarding decision making which I don't like much. But I am hoping it will soon change as he gains more knowledge about the world and his power. TLDR: Socially MC is a garden-variety harem MC. In combat: He is intelligent, mature, and innovative. Writing style-wise author's first language might not be English. because there are quite a few miss-spelling and wrong word choices. I also noticed there are some discrepancies in certain stats. The good news is the author took notice of it and promised to fix it and hire an editor. So, no point in making an issue out of it. Lastly, give it a try. See how you feel reading it as every person has different tastes. However, if you love a typical harem MC, with familiar character types, this is a perfect read for you.

StanLJP
StanLJPLv15
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