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darktone
darktoneLv123yr
2021-09-01 10:05

It's a great book!! There are a few errors but nothing major. I've loved the lord of the rings since I was a little kid and I've read almost all of Tolkien's works and have a very extensive knowledge of middle earth. I've always been fascinated with ancient Rome and have studied them and their way of life since I was a little kid. I have a very large amount of knowledge when it comes to Rome and middle earth l. I ask that you please pick the story back up, and if you dont want to continue writing it would you allow me to take it over and continue it?

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AzureWolf
AzureWolfLv5

This novel is middling. The thought of Rome troops arriving in LOTR and showing their talent from rigorous training to the whole of middle earth is something special. Though there are parts of the story are good there are parts that take away from it just as much. One of my main complaints is that POV changes are way too rapid. In one chapter there were 3 pov changes and sometimes the story randomly goes from first person to third back to first. It's annoying due to the fact I kept reading dialog thinking it was the prince but it was someone else and once I got that sorted out the POV changes into someone else not long after. The characters dialog need at least 1 or 2 chapters to not disorient readers of this story. One of my minor problems is the awkward meeting with the elves and their strange personality which does not fit in the world of middle earth. It felt like was reading a group of people from a Chinese novel. Another one of the minor problems is the unnecessary foreshadowing which happens every 2-3 chapters. They take away more then they give to a story. I do not know why authors think that it's a good idea to do such a thing. An example of one of them from the story is. Character A does not know that tomorrow will be a legendary battle would happen and that it will make all of middle earth tremble. There are multiple foreshadowing of this kind through out the story. its jarring to say the least. Every time I come across one I sigh, skip it, and then move one. There are other minor problems, but, I don't want to spend my time writing a wall of text that hardly anyone cares about.

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