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SavvyDragon
SavvyDragonLv145yr
2020-03-02 05:36

To start off it wasn't the best. He relied on his spirit too much and it didn't seem like Novis as a character would be built much. However, when he got an interest in the game the development was great. Love the book. Please update more🙏🙏

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porggs
porggsLv14

Amazing

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M_Fil
M_FilLv10

I was generous enough to read the first 20 chapters. With most reviews the first 10 should already suffice as to not waste time. Anyway here's what I thought: Story Development (4/5): The author clearly has an overall picture of how he wants the story to pan out. The overall story arc seems interesting enough. This was the only reason I could bear to read so far. However, it could be so much better if the author weaved in background context and world-building to supplement the story arc. It helps the reader understand the pace of the story. World building/Background (2/5): Bland. The author doesn't care to elaborate on the world and we are tunnel-visioned to what the MC is doing. The author makes it hard to visualise the world and the context/connection between everything. The world so far feels like so instance-based. (E.g. MC is at point A then at point B). It makes it hard to judge the passage of time and the flow of the novel too. Also the author makes inconsistencies with details about characters and other stuff. Characters (2/5): Characters so far seem bland and 1 dimensional. MC has no defining features about himself. He is literally a kid with no aspirations who is average in life and has a mundane personality. An epitome of a blank canvas. Everyone else in the story has no defining context. They literally seem like faceless NPCs that are only there to trigger a storyline progression. Arthur is probably the only one in the story with some detailed background. However, this detail was mostly drawn upon from my previous understanding of Arthur in pop culture. Writing Quality (1/5): Bad. So many punctuation and grammatical errors. Numerous spelling mistakes and sometimes the author put the word novice where the MCs name should be (Novis). A lot of the paragraphs are convoluted and redundant and could be much more concise and fluid. The author clearly struggles sometimes in trying to express his vision. Although this may be an ******* novel site, if you are confident enough to have this published/shown on the internet then please EDIT YOUR WORK.

Blaq_Pope
Blaq_PopeLv13
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