Review Detail of NakedApron in :) deleted

Your novel blew my mind. Although I haven't read a lot, I am learning so much about writing from WoK. I try a lot to create every day dialogue that is interesting to read, but I could never achieve it consistently. But reading yours, I can see a smooth exposition of character's personalities and World building in the descriptions and dialogue. All while being interesting to read. Your novel is inspiring to read and it definitely deserves more exposition. It is criminally underrated. But the problem of proper wording still exists. Noticing a sentence that just doesn't flow correctly while reading is like driving on a bumpy road. You can never enjoy the drive fully, since random bumps keep appearing and distracting you. Perhaps you could ask someone more proficient in english to proofread your work, since they would be able to tell you which parts need some more work. But aside from that, keep up the good work. I'll probably write another review later after i finish the story.